Page 65 of Frosting and Flames

“I’m kidding,” she says, attention back on her piping. “And my love life is non-existent. All the guys in town suck.”

Notallthe guys. But I don’t think she’s into tall firefighters with tattoos that kiss like—

Okay, wrong time to be thinking about that. “Maybe someone new will move here.”

She snorts. “Who in their right mind would move to Aurora? It’s population boring here.”

I hold my smile at bay. “Jae and Josh moved here.”

“For you. All my friends already live here.”

“They just reopened the bar in town. Maybe you’ll meet someone there.”

She looks up from her work with a quizzical expression. “Who reopened it? How do you know this stuff?”

“If you came to the small business association meetings, you’d—”

“Okay, stop deflecting and tell me what’s going on with you and Nick.”

I was wondering when she’d call me out on that.

I sigh, picking up a fresh rag and our cleaning spray to disinfect the workstation I used this morning. “I don’t know, to be honest.”

“You don’t kiss guys you’re not sure about,” she says, so confidently, I almost believe her.

Isn’t that what happened with Kyle, though?

We hadn’t interacted much back in high school. He was part of the popular clique, and while I hadn’t been unpopular, I definitely wasn’t in the upper echelon of the social rankings. When I moved back to Aurora, I ran into him and he’d asked me out. It seemed surreal that someone like him was noticing me, so I’d say yes. Little did I realize then he’d peaked in high school. And everything after that… I’d just gone along with.

Things had been rough getting the bakery’s finances back in order, taking all my focus, so when it came to anything else in my life, I didn’t put up a fight, not having the energy for it. It was easy to let Kyle determine the pace of our relationship, to follow his lead and do what he wanted. To accept being his girlfriend when he asked and make space in my house when he eventually wanted to move in. But when I think about it, it almost seems like those choices weren’t mine. It was taking the path of least resistance. To do those things because they were expected of me.

A lot of my life has been like that. As the eldest sister, taking care of my younger ones growing up because my parents expected it of me. Coming back to Aurora to work at the bakery because it was expected of me.

Where are my choices? What in my life is something I’ve definitively decided on?

God, even this thing with Nick was something I was pushed into. Jae signed me up to help with the pancake breakfast, which led to getting involved with the fundraiser.

But Nick… Nick has always given me a choice. Asking if I wanted his help and accepting it if I said no. I was the one who kissed him that first time. And the second time, I was the one who said please, practically begging him to kiss me, then invited him inside to continue.

And when I’d stopped things, he hadn’t given me a hard time. He’d been his kind, genuine self today, telling me to take care, even after all the back and forth I’ve put him through. How could he not hold it against me? If I’d told Kyle no… I shudder to think.

And doesn’t that hammer home the point? Nick and Kyle aren’t the same. I need to remember that.

“I think I might have fucked things up with Nick,” I finally tell Sydney.

“Because you’re still in love with Kyle?” she asks sarcastically.

I shake my head. “I have to talk to Nick about that.” I owe him that much.

“Well, whatever you did, I’m sure he’ll hear you out.”

How can she be so sure? “Why?”

She looks at me like I’m a simpleton. “Don’t you see the way he looks at you?”

Jae already said something similar. And the way he looked at me when I thought we were acting… The way he kissed me… It was like I was as necessary as air.

“Did Kyle look at me like that?” I ask without thinking, and cringe at the half-guarded, half-pitying glance Sydney gives me. That’s enough of an answer there.

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