Page 111 of Frosting and Flames

It’s not the romantic confession I wanted it to be, with hurt and misunderstanding caught between us. But this feels like my only shot to make her see how real this is for me.

She shakes her head, looking stricken. “You can’t say that to me right now,” she says in a low voice, as if I played a dirty trick.

“That I love you? It’s the truth.”

“Nick.” She wipes at her eyes again. “I need to go.”

She grabs her bag and I stop her, my hands on her shoulders. “Listen. We’re both on edge. I don’t know what the fuck is happening or why that’s in my bed. I’ll do my best to figure out how it got there but I need you to trust me. You mean more to me than anything else.Anything,” I emphasize. “And I would never jeopardize that.”

She sways in my direction, a battle waging over her face, but as she squeezes her eyes shut, I’m afraid it wasn’t in my favor.

“I want to trust you,” she whispers. “I did. I do. I don’t know.”

My mouth goes dry, the room seeming to tilt as my mind grasps for some logical thread to pull, some way to prove this isn’t what it looks like. Whatever this is.

But there’s nothing. Just red lace and Rachel’s shattered expression.

“I can’t think straight right now,” she says, pulling away from me. “I’m going to go home and…” She takes a deep breath. “Maybe we can talk more tomorrow.”

“I’m working,” I respond numbly, feeling her slip through my fingers. I hardly had her and somehow I already lost her.

“Monday, then.”

I hate this helplessness coursing through me, my hands twitching uselessly at my sides. I told her I’m innocent. What else can I do? How can I prove myself?

She leaves then, and I stare aimlessly at the door, my stomach churning, barely drawing breath into my lungs. I knew it was too good to be true.

A shudder passes over me, then another and another, emotion breaking through even as I will it to stop. How could she rip my heart out so goddamn easily?

No, that wasn’t easy for her. Not with how destroyed she looked. And if I want her to give me the benefit of the doubt, I have to do the same. I have to remember that she’s been betrayed before. That she has trust issues.

This isn’t the end. It can’t be. Even as I wonder how we’ll ever come back from this, I commit to discovering the truth.

Maybe Tanner brought a girl home and they used my room? The idea is far-fetched, especially considering he doesn’t sleep around and was at the cookoff with us, but I have to start somewhere.

Maybe he pulled a prank putting them there, though he knows I’d never forgive him for messing with Rachel, knowing how important she is to me. I can’t see him doing that, either.

Maybe a fucking raccoon dragged them in, I don’t know. Anything is possible.

But I’m going to figure this out. I promised Rachel I would earn her trust, and I’ll continue to do that.

There’s no other option.

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

RACHEL

I’m bruised. My heart. My mind. Everything.

I can’t make sense of it all, even after being up half the night distressing over it. The underwear. His insistence on not knowing why they were there.

The betrayal. Again. How many times will I have to go through this?

And then Nick’s desperation. His confession of love. The way he seemed to give up at the end. Was that an admission of guilt? Or did I take it too far by not believing him?

Nick had seemed as confused as I was. Genuine in that way he always is. Was it real? Was he lying? I want to believe him. God, I want to. But I’ve been burned before. And the thought of being made a fool twice now? It’s a lead weight on my chest.

I’m stuck in a tug-of-war between wanting to rush back to him, safe and protected in his arms, and hiding out here in the bakery, safe and protected behind the shields I’ve put up before, knowing they work.

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