Page 16 of Not Fooling Anyone

“Come on. We have to go pee in a cup.”

Justin hands us each a specimen collection cup, directing us down the hall where the restrooms are. As fancy as the lab is, I guess they couldn’t get their own bathroom.

Ethan gives me a little salute as he goes into the men’s room, and I roll my eyes once he’s out of sight. There’s a distinct possibility I might strangle him before the study is over.

I go to open the handle of the women’s restroom and it swings outward on its own, the girl from earlier, Amber, looking startled as she sees me there.

Something in her hand wobbles, and we both look down at it, her filled specimen cup almost falling.

“Oh, shit,” she exclaims, clutching it tighter. “Well, this is awkward.”

“No,” I assure her. “I’ve got my own.” I hold up my empty cup.

“It’s Lexie, right? Christian was telling me stories about Ethan. He sounds like a fun guy.”

“Yeah, he’s… great,” I reply awkwardly. This is too weird to pretend I’m dating him. “How do they know each other again?”

“They had a class together last semester. Calculus, I think.”

She must be misremembering. I highly doubt he took that advanced of a course.

“You should sit with us tomorrow in Psych,” she continues.

I blink, taken aback. She doesn’t even know me. What’s her angle? “I, um… I’ll ask Ethan,” I tell her, not wanting to offend her right off the bat. She might get suspicious about us then.

But if we sit with her and Christian in class, it’ll be harder to keep up the ruse. They’ll see right through us. God, this is a nightmare.

“Great. See you tomorrow.” The smile she gives me seems innocent enough, but four years of high school hell taught me you can’t trust anyone.

I do my business and turn my cup in at the lab, Ethan already waiting for me in there.

“You’re free to go,” Justin says. “Same time, same place next week.”

I nod, grabbing my backpack, but Ethan takes it from me before I can put it on.

“Boyfriends carry things for their girlfriends,” he whispers when I give him awhat the helllook.

I paste on a saccharine smile. “Thanks, Snookums.”

His eyes light up with glee. “Anything for my Pookie Bear.”

Justin gives us a strange look as we exit, which I don’t blame him for.

“Snookums,” Ethan exclaims once we’re down the hall. “That’s perfect. You have to call me that all the time.”

I scrunch my eyes shut for a moment, rubbing my temples. Is he insane? “Aren’t you embarrassed? That’s the most ridiculous pet name ever.”

“Come on. If we have to do this, we might as well have fun with it.”

A lead ball drops on my stomach. He saidhave todo this. Like I’m twisting his arm. And I practically did, didn’t I?

“Christian’s girlfriend invited us to sit with them tomorrow in class,” I tell him, pushing aside the guilt. “Do you think it’s a good idea or is it too risky?”

He pushes the door to the stairwell open for me to go through first. “You act like they’re out to get us. If we tell them we’re a couple, they’ll believe us.”

“Yeah, but it’s an extra chance to slip up. We hardly know each other.”

“Think of it as an extra chance to practice being a couple, then. It’ll show Dr. Clark we’re real if she sees us in class together.”

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