Page 78 of Under Pressure

Tyler

“Price wantsto meet with us to check in about the study.”

Mia stands with her back to me, packing up her bag, but doesn’t acknowledge my reminder. I’m just about to repeat myself when she finally says, “I know,” breezing past me and out the door of the lab.

I watch her go, at once proud of her for acting like she doesn’t give a fuck around me and also incredibly annoyed that she doesn’t give a fuck about me anymore.

It’s been two weeks since she came to my house and we had our big blowup. Everything’s back to normal, just like it was before this semester, before she wormed her way into every facet of my life. Not that I can completely escape her. Mom has asked about her no less than three times since I brought her over for the birthday party, though I told her we’re not that close anymore. It seemed to open some floodgate in her, even going so far as to suggest setting me up with a coworker’s daughter.

Kill me now.

Ethan at least stopped mentioning her after I snapped at him the first time he asked. But now the guys at the gym are questioning if she’ll be back. I guess she’d impressed some of them by speaking out against Erickson, who’d never been popular around there.

If I could get people to stop talking about her, I might actually get her off my mind. That’s the only reason I’m still thinking about her, remembering that last night together. How connected we’d been. How instinctual it had been to trust her… Jesus, here I go again.

I pack up my stuff and make my way down the hall and out to Dr. Price’s office, where Mia is already seated, warmly talking to him about some store that apparently both she and his wife shop at. Of course she can pull a conversation like that out of thin air. She can talk to anyone about anything, as she regularly demonstrates during her biofeedback sessions.

The two of them stop when they notice me in the doorway, Mia visibly withdrawing into her professional demeanor, all traces of joking or pleasantry gone. It’s the same way she’s been the last couple weeks, sticking to the bare minimum of communication. Never rude, but lacking her usual vitality and friendliness.

There are no more desserts either, something I didn’t realize I’d miss until it disappeared. No cookies, no brownies, no cupcakes. I never got to try that dark chocolate pie she spoke of one time. I’ve been fixated on that pie for some reason, even going so far as to buy one at the store, but it wasn’t at all the same as what I expect she’d make.

“Have a seat, Tyler.” Dr. Price motions to the empty chair. I rush in, realizing I’ve just been standing here staring at Mia, who’s been studiously avoiding my gaze the whole time. The seat is surprisingly clear of any books or papers, and I wonder if it was actually that way or if she moved them for me.

We get to work talking about the end of the study, which is fast approaching, as well as writing the paper we’ll be submitting to academic journals. For once, I let Mia take the lead in the conversation, content to hear her thoughts and opinions, her voice in general. How have I never realized how melodic it is? How sweet, just like everything about her. She claimed to love my voice but, really, it’s hers that’s worth noting.

“What are your thoughts, Tyler?” Dr. Price asks, gazing expectantly at me.

I blink, redirecting my attention to him. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

“Mia said it would be easiest to each write your sections of the paper individually and just email if you need any clarification, rather than working on it together in person. Does that suit you?”

“I—” I glance over at her, only her profile visible to me because she won’t look over. And why should she? I was a complete asshole to her, not only telling her it was time for this thing between us to end, but how I went about it too.

But I didn’t realize how much was actually ending. “If that’s what Mia wants.” I shift in my seat, suddenly uncomfortable knowing she doesn’t want to spend any extra time with me.

What did I think she’d do, sit around and pine for me? Wallow in her abject misery because I wasn’t around anymore?

No, apparently I’m the only one doing that.

We exit the Stress Lab after the meeting’s over, and she hangs back, waiting for me to precede her down the stairs. Halfway down, though, I turn around, gazing up at her. “We don’t have to be unfriendly to one another. We can still be friends.” God, I sound like her now.

I know what I’d say in response to that inane suggestion.

Wow, we can still be friends? What an honor. I must be the luckiest person on the planet that you’d still want to be friends after coldly rejecting me.

She simply stares at me, though. “I’m doing what you asked.”

I take a step up, drawn to her despite myself. “What did I ask?”

Her eyes narrow, the first sign of emotion I’ve seen in weeks. “You said you don’t want intimacy.”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t—”

“To me, intimacy is more than just fucking each other,” she interrupts. “It’s spending time together. Being there for one another. And apparently, I can’t separate it all,” she mutters, speeding past me, taking the steps at a hurried clip.

I close my eyes, hearing her words again in my head.I really like you, Tyler. This means something to me.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t give you what you wanted,” I call out to her.

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