Page 71 of Fielder's Choice

“When I told him no, Jake called me a tease. Said I’d been leading him on for months, and I owed it to him. That it’s just sex. It’s not a big deal, so why don’t I just let him have it?”

Lane’s chest heaves with a shaky breath as he realizes where this is heading.

“I-I tried to fight him off, but he was stronger than me.” My words come out as choked sobs. I’m a blubbering mess as I continue on. “He laid me back on the floor and… forced himself on me.”

Lane looks at me, absolutely broken. “Olive, did he…” He lets the question trail off, but his intent is clear.

I nod. “He sexually assaulted me,” I whisper, barely audible. “I pleaded with him the entire time to stop, but he wouldn’t let up. He took what he wanted, left me feeling dirty, and then basically shoved me out the door.”

“Olive,” his voice breaks, tears streaming down his own face now. “I-I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

“That’s just the start,” I say, wiping the back of my hand over my eyes. “When I got home, I hid in my room, and I stayed there the entire rest of the weekend. My parents could tell something was wrong, but they didn’t know what. All they knew was that their happy daughter wouldn’t leave her room.

“I faked being sick for school on Monday. My parents didn’t buy it, but since they knew something was wrong with me, they didn’t make me go. Tuesday, though, I pushed myself to go. I thought maybe if I showed up, I could pretend Jake didn’t affect me. But as soon as I saw him at his locker, I practically had a panic attack. Our friends were with him and saw me, so everyone, including Jake, came over.

“I didn’t know what to tell them, but apparently, Jake told them his version of what happened. And they told me it was my fault. That I got what was coming to me, and it wouldn’t have happened if I’d just willingly opened my legs for him.”

“No,” Lane says emphatically, resting his palm on my cheek. “That wasnotyour fault, Olive. That could never be your fault.”

“I know that now,” I say softly. “But at the time, I figured my friends were telling the truth. That I brought it on myself. It didn’t make it hurt any less, though. I ran from school that day and refused to go back. My mom tried to get me to talk, but I just couldn’t open up. I eventually convinced her to let me drop out. I couldn’t face going back. I felt like everyone would know what happened, and I couldn’t go through that. So, I spent the next year of my life hiding out in my bedroom while my parentsworried themselves sick on the other side of the door. Ballet became part of my past as I shut myself out from everything.”

“Olive…” Lane chokes.

“It isn’t over yet,” I whisper. “I told you it was a lot. Everything was quiet for that first year, but that’s when everything fell apart. That’s when my life changed forever.”

I take another deep breath, forcing myself to continue and get all of this off my chest. Lane deserves to know the truth about everything I’ve gone through. “That quiet year wasn’t so quiet after all, though. Things were happening that I didn’t know about until I spiked a high fever right before Halloween. It was high enough that my mom started panicking, and she and my dad rushed me to the emergency room.

“That’s when they ran tests. The providers had my parents step out of the room so they could get all the samples they needed for them, giving me a fever reducer until they could figure out what was going on. I didn’t know where I could have gotten sick at all since I almost never left my room. My assault was a year earlier, so that never crossed my mind as a possibility… until the results came back.

“I learned then that chlamydia can be asymptomatic, and it can turn into pelvic inflammatory disease, wreaking havoc on your reproductive system. They started me on strong antibiotics right away and sent me off for imaging to see if any damage had been done. As it turned out, I became an eighteen-year-old who just found out she was completely infertile due to all the scarring the PID caused. And I didn’t feel any of it until I spiked that fever.

“That’s the point when Ihadto open up to my parents. I had to tell them what Jake did to me a year earlier and how that now fucked up everything I ever wanted. Being a mom one day was my dream, and it was taken away from me so abruptly. I was devastated.”

Lane’s voice is shaky. “Please tell me that goddamn bastard got what he deserved.”

I let out an uneasy breath. “Jake’s father was the District Attorney. My mom encouraged me to report it, but nothing ever came of it. They didn’t pursue anything because of who his father was.”

“Fuck.That’s so fucked up. Your life changed forever through no fault of your own, and that waste of a human got to go on like nothing happened. It’s bullshit.”

“It is, but it’s life, I guess. There wasn’t anything I could do about it. This all happened right after I started seeing my therapist, Corinne Holland, and she helped me come to accept that verdict and focus solely on getting well. I’ve been seeing her for five years now, and she’s been a godsend for me. It took me a while to really try to put myself out there again, but when I did, I started by awkwardly flirting with a cute baseball player at the coffee shop.” I laugh uneasily, trying to sever the tension. “And that leads us to now. I don’t dream of it much anymore, but that’s the nightmare I had a couple weeks ago. I was reliving that moment with Jake.”

Lane pulls me onto his lap, holding me so tightly that I can’t move, but his embrace brings me all the comfort I need. “You said you’ve been through things, but that is so much more than I could have ever imagined. I’m so sorry all of that happened to you, Olive. You’re an incredible person, and you never deserved any of that.”

“My life is a shitshow.” I shake my head. “I’m sorry to unload every part of it on you, but I think you deserved to know. And I know you won’t see me the same way anymore, either.”

“You’re right,” he says softly. “I don’t.”

It’s the answer I expected, but my heart still plummets. “I understand.”

Lane ignores my comment and presses his forehead to mine, making sure to look right into my eyes as he says, “You’re even stronger than I knew. You are so fucking incredible, Olive. You’ve gone through hell, and you’re still here now, living for yourself and letting yourself enjoy life again. I’m in awe of you.”

“W-what?”

“I’m not going anywhere, baby. And I will do everything in my power to show you how you deserve to be treated. You think you’re broken, but all I see is the most badass woman I’ve ever known. She’s bright and fun and so goddamn wonderful.”

“Lane…” I sob, tears streaming down my face.

It would have hurt if Lane walked away, but I would have understood. It’s what I expected. But instead, he takes my hand in his and rests them both over my heart before silencing me with a soft and gentle kiss.

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