Page 93 of Sort of Seeing Someone

“How do Iquantifyit?” I’m stumped. This is not a question my target market asks me or cares about.

“Look, if you’re asking me whether or not I have done follow up case studies with all of my buyers to see if they’re happily engaged or married, I have not,” I confess. “But, if you’re asking me if I believe in the power of these ingredients and the intentions I put into them, then yes. I do. This recipe comes from my mom. And my mom comes from a long line of women with special powers that have trickled down to me.”

“So now there are secret powers involved, eh?”

“Specialpowers,” I correct him.

“What’s that mean? You can cast spells?”

“I mean, sort of. There are things you don’t know about me, Ollie. Things that would make a believer out of anyone—even you. I’m…special.”

I wasn’t planning on now being the time I’d tell him about what makes meme. But, here we are.

“I agree you’re special. I wouldn’t be dating you if I thought you were one of those dime-a-dozen chicks. Care to share what these things are that I ‘don’t know’ about you?” he asks.

“I’m highly connected to the metaphysical world. Way more than you realize.”

“And I’m highly connected to thephysicalworld, so you’ll have to spell this out for me. No pun intended.”

“I did a fertility ritual on my sister and she got pregnant after having no luck for years.”

“Sometimes pregnancy just takes time. My mom had me at forty, remember?”

He doesn’t believe me.

“I did some energy work with Shereé Jackson. As a result, her dream wedding venue confirmed her date after being told it was already booked.”

“I’m sure something entirely reasonable happened to the couple who had to cancel.”

“You don’t understand. Stuff like thatkeepshappening,” I try to explain.

“That’s just life. I know when good things line up one after the next, it can feel like something magical is happening. But that’s just life unfolding the way it naturally does. Statistically, the streak will end and things will go back to making logical sense.”

Ollie is getting in his own way of understanding me, so it’s time to get crystal clear with him.

“When I touched your hand that first time at Red’s, I saw—”

I catch myself about to reveal my gift. There’s a void in Ollie’s eyes. The feeling of needing to pull the e-brake washes over me. With my visions blocked, I can only rely on my gut intuition to predict the future—and in my gut, I immediately regret blabbering. This was the wrong time, wrong place, perhaps even the wrong person to reveal what makes me special. I retreat.

“Never mind. Just hand me another bottle, will you?” I ask, attempting to quickly change the subject.

He grabs one and says: “Sure. After you finish that thought. You touched my hand and you saw…what?”

“Seriously. Just forget it,” I order.

He puts the empty bottle back. We are at an impasse and it’s my own fault for letting my mouth run.

“I’ve got nowhere to be but here with you, Moonie Miller. I’ll wait for you to finish that thought. You touched my hand and you saw…”

“I saw the way you talked to the bartender about comping my bill and it’s very clear you’re well respected at The Brockmeier,” I concede, hoping that’s good enough.

“Bullshit. What’s the real story?”

The real story is a nuclear bomb.

In an instant, I think of the last remnants of smudge spray and how good a job I’ve done thus far keeping my Exexveei a secret. I think of both my sisters and their hesitance in revealing their true selves to their partners. I think of my mom and the truth behind my parents divorce. No doubt, the fear of rejection floods in and suddenly I know how the women in my family have felt for years.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—I don’t want to be in a marriage like Nora and Liv. And while I’m certainly not putting “Ollie” and “marriage” in the same sentence intentionally, I know that protecting my heart from a fearful future like that begins with revealing my true self to whoever I happen to be seeing at any given time. And that time is…now.

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