Page 34 of Sort of Seeing Someone

“I’m an engineer, not a mathematician. But if I hadn’t already had four of these,” he says, pointing to the empty beer on his table, “I could probably figure it out.”

“Well the chancewe’ll be seeing each other again is zero. Enjoy your…”

Books?

Soccer game?

Four beers?

Ridiculously stylish aviator glasses?

Why am I freezing up like a cop is shining his flashlight in my eyes?

“Enjoyyourself,” I say, it not being the zinger I had hoped.

With my woo-woo paraphernalia back safely in my hands, I head out. Before I have a chance to let that awkward moment sink in, it gets replaced by a holy-shit moment instead. A new alert on my phone pops up that says@Sheree_in_the_Cityhas sent me a direct message. I cannot slide it open fast enough.

Moonie, thanks again for everything. It was amazing meeting you. Your energy is off the charts…I’ve never experienced ANYTHING like it. You’ll be happy to know the venue is officially spoken for, by me, for my dream wedding on December 31st. I’m in shock! I need to somehow repay you for making this magic happen. Unfortunately, that won’t be in the form of an invite for the big day (we have a tight guest list at just 400 people), but I’d be more than happy to do a post about your crystal business or whatever it is that you do. And I’m not talking about a story that disappears in 24 hours, but a full-blown post that’ll live on my feed forever. FYI, my going rate for those normally starts at $2,000 a post. When The Doughnut Vault commissioned me to post about their signature pistachio old fashioned, they sold out within five minutes of the post going live and they have yet to be able to keep up with the demand since. That was two years ago. You DO sell these magic crystal things, right? Or is it more of a service that you offer? Whatever your secret is, just make sure your website is linked in your bio when the post goes live later today because that’s where I’m going to tell everyone to go. Let’s say, 6pm? Thanks again. XX

-Shereé Jackson, MBA

Windy City Today Correspondent | Mega Influencer

Reading Shereé’s signature line makes me giggle to myself for just a moment. I love that she still throws “MBA” in there like an $80,000 degree makes any difference in her life as a MegaInfluencer. Then again, I shouldn’t laugh. Whatever she’s doing is clearly working for her.

I don’t have a business. I don’t have a shop. I have nothing to sell. In essence, there’s nothing to see here, folks! Should I write back that I appreciate her offer, then confess I’m just some fledgling exploring a potential new hobby?

Before I spend any more time sorting my own thoughts, I decide to phone a friend—and not just any friend, but an expert, too.

“Yas!” I exclaim as she picks up my FaceTime on the first ring.

“Mama! Look at that lip color on you! Blood Moon coming in HOT.”

I’m grinning so much at the sight of her face that I can barely move my Blood Moon lips enough to form actual words.

“Hey, listen. I need some advice,” I begin. “The Cliff’s Notes version is that I met this woman, she’s a ‘mega-influencer’ whatever that means.”

“Who is it?” Yas asks.

“Shereé Jackson. Her handle is @Sheree_in_the_City.”

“Hold on, let me look her up,” Yas says. “Okay, I think I found her. Is she a Meghan Marklelookalike?”

“Yes, that’s her.”

“Looks like she’s a Chicago blogger-turned-influencer. Over 700,000 followers. Lives in Lincoln Park. Engaged to…Bryson Porter. Wow, good for her.”

“Who’s that?” I ask.

“A starting point guard for the Chicago Bulls. Gordon is a big basketball fan. I’ve heard the name before. Let’s see what else…has a meticulously styled three-flat, an adorable dachshund named Winnie, and is the around-town correspondent onWindy City Today. She’s legit, Moonie. Go on.”

“Long story short, I practiced some crystal therapy on her and it…yielded some favorable results, let’s just say. Now, she wants to do a post about ‘my business.’”

“That could be huge for you,” Yas says. “It could be like your golden ticket to some serious cashflow.”

There’s that word again...

“Just one problem. I don’t have a business. Remember?”

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