Page 106 of Ride the Wave

‘She owns magazines I write for. If she thinks that I’ve been unprofessional, she could tell her editors to stop commissioning me.’

Looking me dead in the eye, Mum leans forwards. ‘Then who would be being unprofessional?’

A burst of nervous laughter bubbles up my throat before I can stop it.

To be fair, she’s not wrong.

‘Michelle Martin is the sort of person who would put her business before any personal feelings,’ Mum says with a wry smile. ‘If she wants the best person for the job and you are that person, then she’s not going to stop you. Besides, if you’re worried, would you need to tell her the truth while you were out in Australia? It’s perfectly feasible that you’d be flying out to be there for the final contest and finish your article. You don’t have to tell her anything else and then if things got more… serious as time went on, you could deal with that then. Keep it under wraps for now, see what happens.’

I can’t believe this is happening. Mum is actively encouraging me to go to Australia to be with Leo. I never would have guessed that this would be her reaction, not ever. I wonder if she’s got a bit caught up in the fantasy of it; maybe the divorce is playing with her emotions a little and she’s not herself. I feel obliged to remind her of the facts.

‘I’ve only known him for three weeks,’ I say firmly. ‘If I were to fly to Australia, things would be intense and then they could go really bad. This is a whirlwind romance, Mum, and that might not end well.’

‘The long, slow, thought-out romances don’t always end well, either,’ she says with a shrug. ‘You don’t get to decide how it’s going to go before it’s even started. You can’t run away from the threat of heartbreak forever. Otherwise you miss out on all the good stuff. It’s always worth the risk, Iris.’

I swallow the lump forming in my throat. ‘Is that how you feel about you and Dad?’

She gives me a small smile, her eyes glistening. ‘Yes, that’s how I feel. Things didn’t end how I hoped, but look where I am. I’m here withyou. That means all of it was worth it. I don’t regret any of it.’ She hesitates. ‘But I do know that if I’d turned your father down when he first asked me out, I’d have regretted that. I’d have always wonderedwhat if?’

I nod, not quite trusting myself to speak.

‘Iris, your head has always been in charge. Don’t you think it might be fun to give your heart the reins for a little while?’ she asks lightly.

‘Mum,’ I whisper, ‘we’re talking about a trip to the other side of the world.’

‘Rather an elaborate date, but it’s fun! Certainly different,’ she says, a playful smile on her lips. ‘I admire his ingenuity.’

I snort, appreciating her lightening the tone. This conversation has zapped all the energy out of me.

‘There’s another roadblock to this anyway. I can’t bring myself to accept his offer of paying for everything,’ I admit wearily. ‘The idea of me jetting off on his credit card without any thought to my work, ignoring how it might affect my career – something about it doesn’t sit right with me. But my bank balance isn’t screaming it’s in the mood for an expensive trip to Australia.’

‘Yes, well, my Iris relies on no one but herself; you’ve always been this way.’ Mum sighs and finally pushes herself to her feet, drifting over to where I am and placing her hand on my cheek. ‘But you don’t always have to be in it alone, you know.’

‘I know,’ I say gratefully, my eyes brimming with tears as I look up at her. ‘Thanks for the talk, Mum. I appreciate it.’

She smiles down at me and then drops her hand, pulling down on the hem of her blouse to straighten it.

‘Right,’ she says briskly, marching towards the door. ‘Lunch time.’

We don’t speak about it again for the rest of the day.

*

The following evening, I’m attempting to find something mindless on Netflix to watch to distract me from making important life decisions when there’s a knock on the door.

Heaving myself off from the sofa, I plod over to open it.

‘Mum!’ I say, stunned to find her there waiting for me.

‘Hello, Iris,’ she smiles, bustling past me into the hallway.

‘You didn’t tell me you were coming over.’

‘It was a surprise,’ she says, her eyes flickering to the flattened cushions on the sofa. She tries to hide her disappointment, but I can see it lurking there.

‘Okay, great.’ I put my hands on my hips. ‘I’ve already eaten dinner, but if you want some food or anything, I can—’

‘I’m not here to eat, Iris; I’m here to tell you something,’ she says, a little flustered.

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