Page 87 of Whiskey Lullaby
“Well, just don’t get on your phone at work. Wait until you’re at home for thatshit.”
“Meg…”
“Just trustme.”
I swiped my badge and waved at Dr. Henley. “Why would you do this tome.”
“Because I don’t want you to have a meltdown inpublic.”
“A meltdown…” I sighed. “Look, if it’s another song. I’m used to it; besides, does he even write his ownsongs?”
“Yes, he does. We’ve checked that three times now, and it’s not asong.”
My curiosity had been piqued. “Okay, well, whatever it is. I’mfine.”
“Nope. You won’t be.” She sighed. “Call me when you get off,okay?”
“It’ll be two in the morningthere.”
“It’s fine.” She groaned. “Just callme.”
“Alright.”
I hung up and stared at my phone. I’d like to say that after a year I’d gotten over Noah, but I hadn’t. I thought about that abstinence video they showed us in high school, the one where a girl is holding a clay heart in her hand and all these guys come up and take a piece from it until she’s left holding a tiny little shred of what the heart once was. He didn’t take a piece of my heart; I gave it tohim.
Some things you never get over, you just learn to live with. Orignore.
Patient after patient came in, and soon enough, the fact I was to avoid the internet indefinitely slipped my mind. After a case of heatstroke, an allergic reaction to shellfish, and a motorbike accident, I went to grab a water from the employee lounge. A group of nurses surrounded one of the break room tables, Jill Makenzie smack dab in the middle, holding up a phone. She grinned, her red lipstick making her teeth look about as white as a Colgate commercial while everyone anxiously watched the screen over hershoulder.
I grabbed a water from the fridge and started toward the table. One of the nurses nudged Jill while clearing her throat. Jill glanced up and dropped the phone to her side, her cheeks turning bright red. “Hey, Hannah!” she saidloudly.
“Hey…” I narrowed my eyes when I stepped up to the table. Every girl stared at me with ridiculous grins. “What’s going on?” I askedcautiously.
“You never told us you knew Noah Greyson, Hannah.” Jillsmiled.
My stomach flip-flopped. I was pretty sure whatever this was had to do with why Meg warned me to stay off the internet.Whateverthis was. “Well.” I pursed my lips and exhaled through my nose. “Yeah… just um, kinda…” I could feel my cheeks heating, so I took a large gulp ofwater.
“Mate, he’s looking foryou.”
My heart pounded. “I mean, um, I don’t know what you’re talking about, so…” I took a step back, then another with everyone’s eyes in the break room glued tome.
“He just posted a video that has over two million views asking people to help him findyou.”
I froze in the middle of the room and closed my eyes. “Shit,” I whispered. “I come all the way around the world, and I still can’t get away fromhim.”
“Why in the world would you want to get away fromhim?”
“It’s uh…” I swallowed, unable to get any more words out. He was looking for me… why? Why in the world, a year and a halflater…
She stepped up beside me and placed a hand on my shoulder before she leaned in and whispered, “You should watch the video when you getoff.”
______
I didn’t call Meg when I got off. One it was late in the US and two, I didn’t want to listen to it. Instead, I headed straight to the beach and stripped out of my sneakers on the way to the shore. I hiked the legs of my scrubs up as far as they would go. The warm, wet sand formed under my feet, creeping between my toes before a wave sent clear water rushing midway up my calves. My phone felt like a nuclear reactor in my pocket, dangerous and deadly. It was a portal to a black hole I’d only recently dug myself out of. Regardless of that, I still shoved my hand into my pocket, wrapped my fingers around my phone, and pulled it out. The setting sun caught on the screen.What’s on that video?Do I really do this tomyself?
I naively thought moving away from Rockford would solve everything. It didn’t, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make it easier toforget.
Everything in Rockford reminded me of Momma, of Noah. Everywhere I went reminded me of the two people I’d lost, and why do that to yourself? There was a whole world out there. It made no sense for me to stay in a place that wouldn’t allow me to let go. And someone once told me Australia was as far away from Rockford as you could get… but, evidently, it still wasn’t farenough.
