Page 1 of War Hope
1
Hope
Doris handsme a margarita before plopping down on the other side of herLa-Z-Boysofa. She places her margarita in the cup holder, runs a wrinkled hand through her white hair, and grabs the box of popcorn from the table, setting it in her lap. Her sausage dog,Shits, is in my lap and she reaches across handing him some popcorn which he eagerly scarfs down. Giggles, her Chihuahua comes scurrying across the floor and wraps himselfaround her leg, furiously crotch thrusting his way home while she studiously ignores him. The first few times I came here it was a little weird, buthey, Doris doesn't give a fuck. Why not let the little bugger knock himself out?
"Oh, oh, this is it," Doris says as the rolling credits start. She shovels a huge handful of popcorn in her mouth never taking her eyes off the TV.
I hesitate.Surelythis is notwhatI thinkitis."Uh,Doris..."
"Yeah?" She slurps on her margarita.
"Whatis this?"I watch a man strut onto the screen butt-arse naked and fisting his cock.
Slowly, she turns toward me, confusion wrinkling her brow as she points at the TV. "You don't know who Colby Keller is?"
"No, but he has an arse on him."
Doris shakesherheadand exhalesalusty grunt. "That arse was madeforfucking, and hisdick...just youwait."She holdsherhandsout. "Veiny." I swear she just moaned under her breath.She shakes herleg. "Get off Giggles. Go hump Shits." Thedogstandsdazed fora second before trotting to the corner and licking itself.
"Well then..."I pick up my margarita and take a heavy sip.Damn, that's the good shit.A few minutes later and Colby has his dick down some guy’s throat, face fucking him like he ownshim.
"Damn,” Doris groans. “Iwant a guytofuckmymouthlike that.He could call meadirtywhore and tellme how hecan'twait toruinmy hole.” I turn and look at her. Shit, the woman is over sixty and apparently thirsty as fuck."Oh, yeah,thisgets the juices going for bingo," shesays, shifting in her chair and chugging a huge gulp of her drink.
"Eddie'sgonnaget it," I say.
She waves her hand through the air. "That old goat? No! He'd have to whip out his catheter justto have a crack.Bobby...Bobbyisgonnaget it."She wiggles her eyebrows and cackles.
"You'll break Eddie's little heart. I thought you were dating?"
She glares atmeas she sucks back the last of the margarita and belches. "No, it's called playing the field, honey.Eddiegives me extrabingo cards."
I lifta brow."Touché."She bumps her fistto mineand weresumewatching.
Colby smashesthat dude’s back doors in. They're groaning and grunting and Jesus-fucking-Christ,the guy's notgonnabe able to sit down for a week.
"Yeah,fuckhim in the hole,Colby," Doris chants. "That boy couldtapme sevenways toSunday any time,"she says, shakingherhead.
It takes a lot to shock me, it does. "Holyshit, Doris. I thought you'd be packing up shop by now," I say, pointing at her crotch.
"An orgasm's an orgasm no matter how wrinkled yourcootergets.Viagra does wonders for a penis these days. Like the Energizer bunny."She waggles herwhite eyebrows at me.
"Ican neverlook atBobbythesame way,"I say.
Groanscome from the TVand Colby starts coming. I use the term loosely because that'senoughcometo putout aforest fire. On and on it goesandColby'sfaceandhissounds—dear fuckinggod,I need to go and sort myself out.ColbyKellerjustofficiallycemented himself as thehottest,mostalpha specimen of a man I've everseen.Any man who canownanother guy like that...fuck.
Doris sighs as she turns the TVoffandslowly standsup, grabbing ather back.
"I thinkyou'vejust given me agaypornfetish," I say.
She laughs. "It will change your life, trust me." She winks as she makes her way to herkitchen.
"You going to bingo tonight?"
"Of course, I can’t let that cuntOpal win again."
"And Poppy thinks you're such a nice old lady," I say, fighting a smile because Doris is me...inafew decade’s time.She's hilarious.
"I havetobea nice old lady at work. It wouldbe frowned upon if I went up into the clinictalking aboutColbysmashingarseholes and Opal being a ragingcunt." She grabs her purse. "Next week, I'll show you some JamesDeen. You seen him?"
