Page 54 of Fake It for Christmas

This kind of thing was supposed to roll off my back. I was doing a great job of pretending to be Shane’s boyfriend, but none of his mother’s words were actually meant for me.

The real me.

The me that hadnoboyfriend.

That had no one at all.

Shane looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole, and Mariel was grinning.

“Now, I’ve been drinking too,” his dad said, lifting an eyebrow at me. “But I agree with my wife. I’ve never seen my son as happy as he is by your side, Rowen.”

I felt a stinging behind my eyes. Suddenly I felt like I was out of control. That ability I had to keep all my emotions under wraps felt like it was slipping away from me after being at the party and drinking with Shane and his family.

“One last shot,” his mom said, holding up her glass. “To Rowen, who is always welcomed in our family.”

I held up my glass, trying to keep in the torrential downpour of feelings inside me.

I’d never felt welcomed in my own family, even before shit got bad.

And Shane’s family wanted to welcome me in already. With open arms and open hearts.

I took the shot, swallowing past that tightness in my throat, barely keeping it together. There was no denying it anymore. I wanted this to be real. I didn’t want my old life anymore—didn’t want to be anywhere near people who would judge me for no reason other than my family name.

I cleared my throat as everyone went off to mingle. I caught a break as Frankie and his fiance took Shane off to another conversation, and I managed to slip away and out the back door. A couple of people were out back on a smoke break and one man was on the edge of the yard on a phone call.

I made my way to the opposite end of the yard, sitting by myself on a yard chair next to the unused fire pit. The backyard was fairly simple but had plenty of space, and from where I was sitting I could look up at the big, mature oak tree that formed a canopy over this corner of the backyard. They’d strung lights up the trunk as far as they could, and a warm glow was cast over the area where I sat.

I sucked in cold air, trying to wrest my emotions back from the cliff they’d been on.

I’d only been sitting outside for a couple of minutes before I heard crunching on the ground behind me. I turned and saw Shane, and instantly the dam broke.

A few tears fell down my face as he walked over, sitting on the other chair near mine.

“I’m so sorry,” he said. “My parents have been drinking, and—”

“Don’t apologize,” I said, wiping off my tears. “Please don’t.”

He looked down at the ground. “I never should have made you do this. The whole fake boyfriend thing just feels wrong.”

I swallowed hard. “It’s been feeling amazing to me, actually,” I said.

He furrowed his brow. I hated seeing him like this—so earnest and sweet, even while I felt like a mess. He deserved better. Deserved something fuckingreal.

He deserved the truth.

Even if it wasn’t magical at all.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.

I looked him in the eye.

“I got an email at the beginning of the night that my agent in New York dropped me,” I said, my voice coming out flat and lifeless. “It’s over for me in the city, I think.”

He instantly reached out and grabbed my shoulder. “Fuck. I’m so sorry.”

I shrugged. “It’s probably for the better.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

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