Page 8 of Fake It for Christmas

He was doing it again. Being so earnest and kind that it almost made me panic. I was so used to rejection that even a small amount of true kindness made me feel… strange. Like I almost didn’t deserve it.

“Don’t worry, Shane,” I said, deflecting. “I promise, getting dumped last year isn’t my darkest secret.”

He nodded. I could see his breath faintly in the chilly air.

“So, no girlfriend,” he continued. “But you’d really be willing to pretend you’re gay, on screen?”

I laughed softly.

God, he was cute.

“I’ve pretended to be gay countless times in plays,” I told him. “Trust me, it won’t bother me.”

“Really?”

I nodded once. “I like kissing men. I’d do pretty much anything.”

Shane shifted on his feet, the shadows cast by the street lamp moving in tandem. He looked like I’d just told him I was an alien or something. Like he’d never heard of a guy who really didn’t mind pretending to be gay.

Not that I’d ever exactly felt 100% straight, either. I was 26, the same as Shane, and ever since high school I’d wondered if I was different. I’d never dated a guy, and girlfriends always seemed to fall into my lap more easily. But I’d enjoyed kissing male co-stars before. I’d even had a little guy-crush on one of my friends a few years ago, though I’d never taken it seriously.

The way I felt about my own sexuality was something closer towho fucking knows?

And I liked the way Shane looked at me, anyway. How could it be bad to pretend to be his boyfriend for a little five-minute video? There wasn’t a shot in hell he’d win the contest, anyway.

“So it would be… just an acting gig,” Shane said, and I could practically see the gears turning in his mind. “Just like any other. I don’t have much to pay you—”

I shook my head. “No payment necessary,” I said. “I’m going to be honest, hanging out with you is the most fun I’ve had since being stuck here in Tennessee. Your company will be payment enough.”

The faintest red blush appeared on his cheeks, and it was like catnip to me.

“Holy shit, it’s really going to happen,” Shane said. “I’m going to apply to be on the Fixer Brothers.”

“Here,” I told him, pulling out my phone and unlocking it for him. “Put your number in. I’ll text you tomorrow morning and we’ll get this rolling. I can bring my camera, too. The one I use for audition tapes is pretty high-quality.”

It was the exact opposite of what I wassupposedto be doing.

I was supposed to be devoting my time to sending in audition tapes to as many open acting calls as I could. I’d changed my actor name to Rowen Skye. I needed to apply for commercials, short films, TV,anything. I’d get rejected from almost all of them, but I had to try to break back into the world on my own.To prove myself, and prove that I had nothing to do with my goddamn parents.

But how could I say no when Shane looked at me like that?

3

SHANE

Nobody had ever told me that there were so many different types of baking chocolate.

I stood in the baking aisle at the market as “Holly Jolly Christmas” played over the speakers and the after-work crowd flooded the store. I’d been staring at the different types of chocolate for three minutes, looking back at my phone to the recipe. My mind was a swirl of nervous anticipation, knowing Rowen was coming over later tonight.

Double Chocolate Peanut Butter Cake.

It seemed simple enough, and I wanted to have something to offer Rowen when he came over. Gram had always baked something for new guests, and even though I’d never so much as baked a cookie, I thought I’d give the cake a try.

How hard could it be?

I checked the time. He was supposed to be over at my house in an hour, and I was still here at the store after a long day shift working at the inn. I was losing minutes.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I whispered under my breath, and an old lady pushing a cart down the aisle turned toward me.

---