Page 33 of Fake It for Christmas

Finally the hesitation on his face disappeared. “No one has been this nice to me in so long. Years, maybe? Other than my sister and my late grandma, at least, and that’s a very different feeling.”

I puffed out a laugh. “Well, you deserve it.”

He stretched his arms high above his head, showcasing his perfect muscled arms. “I don’t know you all that well, Rowen,and I know you’ll be back in New York soon enough. You won’t tell me about your life all that much. But… I trust you.”

Guilt pooled in my chest, heavy as a rock.

You trust me even though you have no idea what happened back in the city.

Even though I come from two awful people, and have no name for myself, anymore.

I wanted to tell him everything. It was at the tip of my tongue, and part of me was waiting for the whole story to fall out of my mouth.

But it didn’t happen. Instead, I watched his face in the low light, wishing like hell my life could be more like his.

Simple. Pure. Real. Nobody hating him just because of who his parents were.

“Being with you is the first time in a while that my life has felt… genuine,” I said.

That was the truth, even if I couldn’t make myself tell him more.

“Well you’regenuinelythe best blow job I’ve ever had, so, thanks for that,” he said.

I dropped my jaw. “No way.”

He puffed out a laugh. “Oh yes.”

“But I’m so new to it. I’m such an amateur.”

“And that only made it ten times hotter,” Shane said. “Your technique was actually great, by the way. You’re the whole package. If you wanted to date men, you could have anyone you want.”

Don’t think I really care about dating men, but I sure as fuck enjoy being with you, I thought, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

So maybe I’d been a bit… overzealous with my crushes in life. I’d always been quick to get a crush on women, and even withsome of my friends who weren’t women, I’d had times where I felt admiration or excitement every time I saw them.

In fact, some of the only times I felt nervous in life were when I had a crush on someone that was way too distracting.

As I looked at Shane now, standing up and tugging on his fucking adorable Christmas boxer briefs beside my tree, I realized what I was in for like it was a big wallop to my chest.

I had a crush onhim.

“I need to head home,” he said to me, and suddenly I feltverynaked and exposed sitting like this on my couch. “Early day at the inn tomorrow.”

I swallowed and cleared my throat, sitting up straighter. “Right. Uh, of course. That’s no problem.”

No problem other than the fact that I want you naked on this couch with me all night, and holy fucking fuck do I seriously actually have a crush on you?

He nodded, pulling on the rest of his clothes. I felt like a drooling animal seeing how good he looked shirtless in just jeans, that same V-shape poking out of the top of the waistband.

“I’ll keep you updated on the holiday party details,” he said. “I owe you big time for that still. I’ll find a way to repay it.”

I coughed. “You can repay it with that cock of yours.”

He glanced over at me, a slight surprised smile on his face. “You’re funny.”

I shrugged a shoulder. “And you have a great cock.”And face, and heart, and mind, and tongue….

As he was heading out the door a couple of minutes later, I felt like I was being pulled away from a magnet. I didn’t want him to leave. But I’d also completely forgotten how to be real with someone at all.

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