Page 27 of Crossing Lines

I almost choke at that figure. That’s too much.

“I don’t have that much.” And I don’t. I used everything from my first paycheck on Stella’s house, moving here, and giving Mom money. My next paycheck is due in a few days, and I only have three hundred dollars left. I’d like to keep that for emergencies.

“How come? Aren’t you working at a fancy hotel now?”

“Yeah,” I lie. It’s the excuse I gave her for leaving town. It’s not like I could tell her the truth about my friendship with Stella or how close Elodie and I still are. She hates Elodie’s mom, Rose, for cutting her off years ago. “But I get paid monthly.”

She huffs. “See? All the more reason to sell that jacket of yours.”

“Yeah…good idea. I’ll send what I can, but I’ve got to run. Talk later.”

She hangs up on me without a goodbye or even a thank-you. A heavy exhaustion settles over me after talking to Mom for even five minutes. Guilt coils in my stomach at lying to her, but it’s better than the alternative. She’s too good at turning words around, at making people do her bidding. It’s how she got her money when I was younger, by targeting people in town. She’d even use me as the reason, playing to people’s emotions by saying that she needed to buy me new shoes, new pants, or whatever excuse she thought of that day. But the money never went toward me, only her.

I start my car, the engine churning over,a sickly,reluctant sound,before sputtering into silence. I try again, and this time,the engine catches,hesitates,and then roars to life. Shit. Coughy is on her last breath, but it’s not like I have enough money to buy a new one.

I make it back to the house, park, and then walk to Rose’s house. Hunter bought her a house in the same neighborhood so that Elodie can be close to her. It’s a huge upgrade from their previous house and I couldn’t be happier for her. Rose deserves all the best things in life.

“Take a seat,” Rose says from her special ergonomic chair to help with her chronic back pain. “And pick your poison,The SopranosorGrey’s Anatomy?”

I’ve seen every episode of both shows multiple times over, since they’re Rose’s favorites. But it doesn’t stop me from planting my ass on her couch and saying, “You pick.”

“So…” Rose starts an episode ofGrey’sand asks, “How are you?”

“Fine.”

She raises her eyebrow and levels me with a look. “How about we redo that, but this time with the truth?”

I snort. Rose somehow always knows when I’m lying. She’s got that sixth sense that comes from being a good mom. “It’s going…I guess? I feel kind of lost.”

“In what way?”

“I don’t know. For the first time in my life, I have options, possibilities, and it’s scary as hell.”

“Fear is natural when facing new beginnings,butremember,with every leap of faith comes a chance for extraordinary adventures.You’ve got this.”

I snort. “Please don’t tell me you stole that from a fortune cookie.”

“Nope, I got it from a horoscope.” She laughs before asking, “How’s it living with Evren?”

“It’s okay. He’s different than I thought he’d be.”

“Different in a good way?”

Is it good? Well, he actually apologized, and I never saw that coming. He gives off the energy of not caring about other people. But he made amends, and I can’t help but respect him, just a little, for doing that. He’s also been keeping me on my toes, and it’s irritating. When I try to annoy him, he never responds like how I expect. My over-the-top shirt and his logo should’ve gotten to him, but instead he flipped it around and it was like he saw me. Saw everything I put into my designs and read their meaning clearly. It was unnerving, uncomfortable, and downright rude that he could read me so easily.

“Sure,” I settle on.

“Has Bonnie contacted you recently?”

“Unfortunately.” I shift on the couch, uncomfortable with the topic. After Rose cut Mom off, I stopped visiting Elodie as much as I used to, afraid they’d shun me too and I’d lose my only friend. Eventually, I realized they wouldn’t do that, but that fear? It’s never gone away.

Rose sighs. “You know Bonnie will always want more until you set a boundary with her.”

She says it casually—like it’s easy, like this isn’t aconversation we’ve had a hundred times before. But Rose doesn’t get it. Every time I try to set a real boundary with Mom, disaster follows. I’ve cut her off before, and each time, Mom ends up in the hospital with another overdose.Idid that. My choices sent her spiraling and nearly killed her.

So, the boundaries I do have are lying about my life and keeping an emergency fund that’s only for me. To me, that’s progress, but Rose doesn’t see it that way. To Rose progress would mean cutting her off, but Mom’s my only family and my responsibility. I could never do that to her.

“I hear you,” I say as Rose presses her lips together in disapproval.

---