I started chuckling. ‘So, you and Laura are over? Because she certainly didn’t give me that impression today!’

‘I promise.’ He begged.

‘Well, call her right now then. Tell her.’

He stood still, hesitating before me.

‘No? Don’t fucking bother, honestly. It’s done! It’s just creeping me out that the man I let share a bed with me, live fucking rent-free in my home is a liar and a cheat. The worst thing about it all is how much you pride yourself in being a nice guy. The thing is, I knew deep down my ex was trouble; I knew what he was from the moment I met him, but Jesus Christ, you deserve a fucking Oscar. Mr fuckin’ nice guy, my arse! Now get to fuck, seriously.’

After a long, tense moment, Cameron finally seemed to realise I meant what I’d said. I spent the next ten minutes watching the man of my dreams gather his stuff and pack it all away in his holdall. Through it all, I remained composed. Eventually he walked out the apartment without saying another word.

I sat down on the sofa and my eyes began to trickle. It hadn’t felt good to be so angry at someone I’d cared about, someone who’d told me he loved me not two days ago. For a brief moment, I questioned whether I’d been too harsh. Maybe there was some misunderstanding, maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Half of me wanted to chase after him and beg him to come back, but the better half knew it had to end. It had taken me a long time to rebuild myself after the break-up with Tom, and I wasn’t prepared to lose myself again. So, instead, I gazed into space, wondering where he might go – wondering if he’d run to Laura’s, fill her head with some heroic bullshit story about Baghdad. Or perhaps he’d head to the airport, meet another unsuspecting woman on the flight and fuck up her life as well.

I wept into the couch cushions until I smelt an unpleasant smell, then bolted to the oven as I realised the lasagne was burning. I was halfway unloading it when I heard the key turn in the lock, and Ashley popped her head round the front door.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said, catching sight of my tear-streaked face. ‘I’ll go if you want, but I needed to check you were OK.’

In spite of myself, I felt a smile pull across my face at her presence.

‘It’s fine. He’s gone. You hungry?’ I laughed at the crispy dish as she made her way to the kitchen.

‘Gone? Just like that?’

‘Flew into my life and kicked out, just as quick,’ I shrugged.

Ashley walked over and gently rubbed my arm. ‘Are you OK?’

‘I think so.’ I paused. ‘I called him the Elephant Man, Ash,’ I admitted guiltily, recalling my moment of pettiness.

‘I hope you called him a shite ride, too! He deserves it all, babe. Who the fuck does he think he is?’ She paused and looked into my face. ‘You seem too well, it’s unnerving. Cooking and shit. You know I can handle breakdown, Zara.’

‘I just feel disappointed, like I’m empty. Every man that walks out that door takes a little piece of me with them and maybe now I’m sort of incomplete. I don’t know.’

‘You don’t need a man to complete you, Zara. You’ve had rotten luck, but it’ll pass. Besides, we have each other. I don’t have Dave, which kills me every second of the day, but I still know I’m fabulous. You have me, and I’m not going anywhere.’

I attempted a smile. She was right, but I couldn’t feel it yet. ‘Did Raj manage to change the names and things over for Dubai?’ I asked, wanting to change the subject slightly.

‘Yes, he’s all set. But I was going to keep the reservation for the Corinthian open if it’s all right with you. Have a leaving thing for Raj instead? It’ll be perfect for social media, but if you think it’s insensitive, then I’ll cancel. Raj isn’t arsed anyway …’ She rolled her eyes.

I shook my head. ‘No. He deserves a leaving night. God!’ My stomach filled with dread, wondering what I would tell the clients. All of them expected me to be leaving and now Raj was going instead. I had been boasting about my love life and suddenly it had crumbled.

I felt overcome with emotion. I was losing Raj to Dubai too.

‘Fancy a bottle of wine tonight? I need to drink and drink till I feel more normal again!’

Ashley looked cautious, but then said, ‘I’m game! But no late-night texting Cameron the Cunt!’

I laughed. ‘Don’t worry about that, hen!’ I assured her.

‘Right, well, pass me a glass already!’ she replied.

In the days that followed, I continued to live off cheap wine and leftover lasagne. Work at the clinic continued as Raj prepared for the big move. I painted a brave face for my friends, but I felt more alone than ever, particularly at night. Even when Ashley ditched the couch and returned to my room, I insisted on using Cameron’s pillow and sleeping on his side of the bed. I felt Ashley’s new hatred for Cameron and my situation seemed to lift her out of her depression with Dave as she comforted me and constantly checked in. Each night, I closed my eyes and thought only of him. His strong scent filled my lungs. I kept regular tabs on Laura’s Instagram and composed several potential messages to out Cameron’s lies. I even thought about an anonymous DM, but swiftly deleted it each time. I wanted to hurt him like he had hurt me or even warn Laura about him, but I couldn’t risk any dramas for Raj, and I was worried her popularity might cause a negative reflection on the clinic. She was exceptionally well known in Scotland, with a great social media following, and business connections, so I remained painstakingly quiet, all the while stalking her perfect life from behind my screen.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Thursday night’s leaving party came around fast, and the thought of awkward scenarios and answering questions from clients about the Dubai swap filled me with utter dread. I paced the floor of my flat in an old bobbly dressing gown, hoping Ashley would take pity and say I didn’t have to go.

‘I feel sick about going, you know.’