Page 66 of The Scarlet Star

Ryn dropped her brush to her lap and leaned her elbows on her vanity, placing her face in her hands. Her huff came out in a shudder, and she worried Heva heard, until Heva said, “It’s for the best anyway. He hates Adriels like his father did. It’s better if he marries someone else, and then we can stay quiet and not interfere when the B’rei Mira assassins come for him.”

Ryn’s stomach turned. She slid around in her chair. She needed to tell Heva that she wanted to warn Xerxes, but she hadn’t been able to speak much all morning and now was no exception.

Last night, Ryn saw Calliope all dressed up and headed off to visit the King. Ryn wouldn’t have believed it was possible before she saw Xerxes and Calliope cross paths in the library. Until she saw Xerxes smile at her—again. Calliope talked about how the King hadpersonallysummoned her throughout the entire lecture in the library afterward.

Ryn had never felt more humiliated. She cursed the moment she’d uttered such forbidden words to Xerxes in the Abandoned Temple. How could she assume he wouldn’t know what she was saying just because his ears were under water?

She lifted a finger to trace her lips. The way he’d kissed her though…

Flutters moved across her stomach.

Maybe his kiss was impulsive. Maybe he regretted it, and inviting Calliope to his chambers in front of her was his way of telling Ryn he didn’t like her back.

What was she thinking allowing feelings to appear for him anyway? For a moment, she’d forgotten he was a king, powerful enough to have every one of her people hunted down and killed with the snap of his fingers. Ryn was ashamed she’d let her guard down simply because he was young and said he needed her. That one, single person had the power to have everyone she knew and loved slaughtered on a whim. There was a reason Kai thought Xerxes should be killed.

Ryn turned back toward her mirror, feeling uglier than ever. Inside. Outside. When she looked at her reflection, all she saw was a naïve girl who’d been too desperate for a friend and too presumptuous around a king. She’d agreed to return to this palace for the Adriel people, and for the Priesthood. She’d agreed to shake up the false gods with Geovani, and in turn, had agreed to follow El.

But then she’d agreed to help Xerxes be free of his voices.

Ryn dragged her fingers into her hair. She wanted to race back to the Priesthood where it all began and tell them they were wrong about her. Yet, until she found a cure for the King, she knew she had to stay.

“Let’s go to the First Temple,” Heva said, standing and brushing the crumbs off her Folke uniform. “Apparently there’s another Heartstealer event in a few days, and all charity work will be put on hold soon for preparation. Let’s stay with the priestesses until dusk tonight since it’ll be our last chance for a while.”

Ryn could not have agreed more. She didn’t want to still be around when Calliope finally returned to her chambers in all her glory.

Geovani shared her favourite stories of ancient Adriels all afternoon. The air in the First Temple came alive with her tales. It was exactly the sort of distraction Ryn wanted. She found herself laughing at the old woman’s animations.

The priestesses dined together afterward. Geovani prayed to the God Original, and everyone ate fresh grapes from the local vineyard and hot bread straight from the ovens dipped in oil and herbs. Minutes in, Kristin accidentally spilled oil on Seeda’s priestess gown, which triggered a food fight that lasted for nearly an hour and had every priestess in the temple—along with Ryn and Heva—scrubbing walls and floors until the sun went down. They thought it was over until Seeda lobbed a handful of squashed grapes into Heva’s hair.

Ryn grinned through the whole thing. She was grateful for it all, even the labour. Even the mess she became, with a grape-stained dress and her hair dripping oil.

Everyone was exhausted by the time the First Temple was clean. Ryn hadn’t worked so hard to clean anything in a while. She rubbed the tightness out of her lower back as she and Heva came outside to the startled blinking of their six accompanying Folke guards.

“Are those… grapes?” one of them asked as he pointed to Heva’s hair.

“Mind your own business,” Heva warned, then she moaned. “I forgot my sword! Wait here,” she said to Ryn as she jogged back into the First Temple. Voices arose from inside a second later and it was clear she got into another argument with Seeda.

Ryn sighed and shook her head.

Cool wind ruffled the wheat in the field as she glided into the stalks to wait. She wanted a minute alone anyway. Apart from her short time in the Abandoned Temple, Ryn hadn’t been alone all day.

She looked up to the stars where the white dragon did its serpentine dance and the crystal night had grown black and hollow. “El,” she whispered to the sky, “can’t you get me out of the palace? Can’t you summon a great miracle like you did in the ancient days of the Adriels?” A cold breeze brushed along her face. “Must I stay?”

Ryn imagined her mother standing in this field. Unlike Ryn, her mother’s eyes had been a light toffee, warm and inviting. If her mother were here, she would have said something like,“You were created for a purpose, Ryn.”

Tears threatened Ryn’s eyes. She wished her mother really was here, and it wasn’t just all in her imagination. Still, she asked, “Why would you say such a thing?”

Her mother might have smiled at the question like the answer was obvious.“Because what if this is it?”

Ryn thought about Geovani’s words the second time they met. Geovani had claimed every single one of El’s people were free, whether they were stuck here or living in glory at his side.

“Where are you, Mother?” Ryn asked the phantom woman before her.

“Ryn.”Ryn imagined her mother taking her hand. She wished she could feel real flesh against her own, instead of the empty embrace of the cold wind.“Be courageous. What if this great task is what you were created for?”

Things hadn’t died down at the palace. Music lifted from the courtyard where nobles were having a nighttime Celestial revelry with hired dancers, but Ryn was so tired from scrubbing down the First Temple that she fell onto her bed without changing into her nightdress. She was asleep in minutes.

18

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