Page 16 of Fake Dating a Human 101

“Are you coming?” The same round-faced female returned on her tip toes. She fiddled with her curly hair as she waited. Four sheets of parchment and four ink pens were in her hands. “We can start with the questionnaires.”

“We aren’t prepared for an interrogation,” Dranian murmured quietly. “What shall we do, Cress?”

Cress seemed frozen in place at the sight of the questionnaires. “Don’t tell them any secrets,” he instructed. “And no matter what, don’t reveal that you’re a powerful fairy that could crush their bones and mop this floor with their spilled blood.”

Shayne chuckled and waved a hand through the air. “This is easy. Just be flirty and fun. Say you enjoy things like ‘long walks on the beach.’ That’s fake dating a human 101. I should know since I’ve been fake dating a human for ages now,” he bragged.

Cress glanced over at him. “What doeswon-oh-wonmean?”

“It’s when you’re teaching someone a lesson. You say the topic, and then you say,101,” Shayne explained.

Mor released a growly sigh. “Stop being so suspicious. You two are whispering right in front of that human,” he scolded. He shoved Shayne out of the way and went first. They all watched as Mor approached the human female and took the piece of interrogation parchment she extended toward him.

Dranian turned back for the hall.

“Where do you think you’re going?!” Cress whispered after him.

“I’m going to find the real human bachelors and lock them in a closet so they don’t expose our ploy,” he said back.

Four long hours later, the quartet of fairies stood before a large TV, staring at a collection of interviews all filling the screen at once. ‘Editors’ worked on the ‘clips’ to prepare the ‘intro episode’.

Mor’s interview took up the whole screen for a moment, and the name “Jeff [No Last Name]” appeared below, along with:Occupation: Long Walks on The Beach. Shayne nearly lost control of his bachelor façade when he read it.

“Don’t you dare laugh,” Mor threatened. “This is all your fault.”

Mor’s interview disappeared, replaced by clips of Cress’s. Cress had chosen the name:Cresstopher Alabrungerton.And:Occupation: Being a High Prince. Shayne slapped a hand over his face.

“What?” Cress scolded. “It’s not like anyone is going to believe it. Make your lie as close to the truth as possible without actually telling the truth. That’s deceptionwon-oh-won.”

Far down the line of editors, a human snickered. He leaned to the male beside him and whispered, “Did this guy’s parents really make him believe he’s a prince his whole life?”

Mor grabbed Cress’s elbow to hold him still as Cress’s gaze drilled the editor’s back. “Do they think we can’t hear them?!” Cress asked through tight lips.

“Probably,” Mor pointed out. “Most humans couldn’t.”

“Of course I was told I was a prince my whole life! That’s awon-oh-wonlesson of prince-ing!” Cress argued, even though no one was disagreeing with him.

Shayne leaned forward to watch as his interview came next. He was the only fairy who’d flashed dreamy smiles and answered the questions naturally.

“You chose the nameThomas Cruise?” Cress folded his arms. “I wish I’d thought of that.”

“Yes,” Shayne said proudly. “And my occupation isPossible Missions, in case you didn’t notice.” He pointed to the TV screen.

“Hmm.” Cress nodded. Then he said, “Trade names with me.”

“Absolutely not,” Shayne returned, but then he thought better of it. “Unless you lift my lashings punishment. Then I’ll trade with you.”

Cress tapped a finger against his chin as if considering.

When Dranian’s interview appeared, the chatter died off. Shayne, Cress, and Mor all glared at Dranian at once.

“Why did you use your real name?” Mor murmured.

Dranian opened his mouth, then closed it. After a moment, he whispered, “I couldn’t think of anything else.”

“Queensbane, Dranian, please tell me you didn’t put…” Cress gave up when the words ‘Occupation: Assassin’filled the screen. The three of them moaned.

Dranian pouted a little. “I’m not as creative as the rest of you,” he muttered.

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