Page 89 of Sincerely, Secretary of Doom

A few morning customers were around, talking quietly or reading. Violet salivated at the sight of their lattes and mochas.

At a bistro table, Cress and Kate were talking about Kate’s wedding dress. Well,Cresswas talking. “No taffeta! Only silk or satin, maybe with an organza or chiffon overlay. Swarovski crystals are a must, or real diamonds; nothing cheap. Perhaps a sweetheart neckline and a puddle train as well, with plenty of rouching in the bodice,” he stated while looking at a scribbled list in his hand. Violet would have thought the turquoise-eyed fairy was joking if he didn’t look so serious.

Across the table, Kate stifled an eye roll and took a sip of her coffee. “I’m just going to wear whatever’s on sale off the rack,” she said when she was finished.

Cress dropped the paper to the table. “You willnotdo that. You are marrying a Prince of the North Corner of Ever.”

Shayne peeled the lid off the muffin container and sniffed the potent aroma of still-warm blueberries. “You can marry me instead if you’d like, Kate. I won’t fuss about your dress,” he called back and shot her a wink.

“You’re such a flirt,” Lily muttered at Shayne.

Mor suppressed a smile as he rounded the counter. He took a large mug from the cupboard and began making a hot drink Violet desperately hoped was for her.

Shayne settled his dreamy blue gaze on Lily. “And you’re such a stiff statue, Human. I bet if you stood perfectly still on the street corner, other humans would walk past you and think you were part of the streetside decorations.” He lifted a muffin from the container and peeled off the cup.

Lily cast Shayne a look. “Do we need to take this outside, Assassin?” She seemed to be only half joking.

Shayne grinned. “I’d love to. I do know your real name, after all. You don’t know mine.” He reached across the counter and stole a small plate from a pile then placed his perfectly peeled muffin in the centre, setting up his snack with care.

“Just because you read a few books on how to trap and kill fairies doesn’t make you stronger than us, Human,” Cress declared to Lily from his seat as he flipped through his book of wedding notes. Kate inconspicuously slid a novel out of her sweater pocket, opened it below the table where Cress couldn’t see, and began to read.

Lily scowled. “You just wait,” she mumbled as she hung up a washcloth. Dranian came out of the kitchen behind her and swept through the café, so graceful and silent that Violet wasn’t sure anyone even noticed him.

Shayne’s grin widened. “I’ll wait forever, ugly Human. You know I will,” he said to Lily.

Mor slid a piping hot ca-fae mocha across the counter to Violet and flashed her a smile. Violet took the drink, beaming in return. She turned toward the open table beside Cress and Kate just as Shayne bit into his muffin.

Violet walked away to the sound of Shayne choking. She heard a pronounced spitting sound. She smiled and took a sip of her mocha as she reached her seat, not looking back.

“What sort of crossbeast feces is this?!” she heard Shayne whisper to Mor.

Mor’s low, quiet voice of warning sailed to Violet’s ears. “You are going to eat that, and you are going to pretend you love it, or I’ll slay you where you sit,” he articulated to the white-haired fairy.

Violet shoved her mocha mug against her mouth to drink again so she wouldn’t laugh. If Mor would just be honest and tell her that her muffins were disgusting, she would stop making them, and he could stop forcing everyone to eat them. But as it was, Mor hadn’t admitted the truth yet, and therefore, everyone they crossed each day would continue to suffer.

“Kate and I will be living upstairs after the wedding. I’m invoking the human right of dibs,” Cress announced to the whole café—even the customers.

“You can’t call dibs onmyapartment,” Kate murmured too quietly for it to be a real objection.

Cress ignored her and pointed around at the other fairies with his pen. “So, all of you need to find another place to live.”

Dranian broke his silence by bumping a table by the fireplace. “How are fairy assassins supposed to find a place to live among humans?” he asked Cress. His eyes seemed notably horrified for someone who hardly ever showed facial expressions.

Cress shrugged like it wasn’t his problem. “Mor did. Go live with him,” he said.

Dranian pointed at Mor and growled, “I will not sleep in that dark, infested cathedral ever again!” he promised.

“Of course you won’t,” Mor said. “You’re not invited. I wouldn’t let you live with me if you paid me.” Mor took a long, slow drink of his latte without breaking eye contact with Dranian.

Shayne laughed, picked up his muffin, and sauntered over. “Here.” He passed the muffin to Dranian like he was consoling him with it. Dranian took it with strange emotional gratitude and shoved it all in his mouth.

Violet waited for him to react. She struggled so hard to suppress her smile that her face hurt. But she didn’t know what to do with herself when Dranian chewed the thing and swallowed it without batting an eye.

“Mmm. That was good,” the fairy said in his monotone voice, and Violet’s smile fell.

“Should we be roommates then, Dranian? Split our coins to pay for a box of space where the rest of the humans in the apartment building will be lucky to have us?” Shayne asked him.

Dranian growled under his breath and plunked into the nearest bistro seat.

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