Page 97 of Porcelain Vows

Ne bud' slabym.

Don’t be weak.

This changes nothing.

But it does. As I face my sister, I feel the weight shift. Not gone— never gone— but different. Manageable. Mine to carry or set down as I choose.

The monster is dead.

And I am still here.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Aleksei

The room feels hollow, like a chest cavity with the heart torn out.

Nothing has changed except the absence of breath from the figure on the bed. My father’s body remains, an empty vessel that once housed the beast of my childhood. Now it’s just meat, beginning its return to dust.

Konets.

The end.

Death has a finality no other human experience matches. The absolute ending of possibility. The complete closing of doors. Whatever my father might have become— whatever reconciliation might have grown from the seed of forgiveness planted moments ago— those possibilities died with his final breath.

I feel nothing. Detached, watching myself from a distance. This numbness is an old friend— the same emotional shutdown that protected me during childhood beatings, during Bratva executions, during moments when feeling would get me killed.

The smell of death thickens in the room— bodily fluids, the last warmth leaving flesh, something indefinable that animals recognize instinctively. My mouth tastes metallic.

Diana weeps beside me, face buried in hands that tremble. Unlike me, she allows herself to feel this moment’s complexity. I place a hand on her shoulder, feeling the fine silk of her blouse,the heat of her skin beneath, offering what comfort I can while my mind shifts to practical concerns.

“Come,sestrenka,” I say, voice low. “I’ll handle the details. You need rest.”

She nods without looking up, allowing me to guide her toward the door. At the threshold, I glance back once at the corpse that was my father. In death, his face appears peaceful— an expression I never saw during his life. The door closes with a soft click that feels more significant than it should.

Chto za khuynya.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

My father’s death feels distant, like news about a stranger. Yet thoughts of my living family immediately flood in— Stella, Polina, Bobik, my mother. They are what matters now. They are my present and future, while Rodion Tarasov belongs firmly to the past.

I should tell my mother. The thought surfaces briefly before I push it aside. That conversation can wait until tomorrow. She deserves one more night of peace before confronting whatever emotions Father’s death will trigger.

Instead, I find myself drawn toward the Left Wing, where Stella and Polina should be. After the heaviness of the deathbed vigil, I need to see my daughter’s innocent face, to feel Stella’s steady presence grounding me in what truly matters.

But her room is empty, the bed neatly made, sheets pulled tight with hospital corners, no sign of recent occupation. A quick check of the nursery reveals the same— Polina’s crib untouched since morning, her toys arranged in perfect order.

A tendril of unease curls through my detachment. The back of my neck prickles. I pull out my phone, checking the updated tracking app I installed after Stella’s abduction. Each family member carries a device— Stella’s phone, Polina’s monitoring bracelet, the GPS unit on Bobik’s wheelchair. All three signals pulse from the same location— the far northeastern corner of the estate, deep in the forest.

Stranno.

The app shows they’ve been motionless for several minutes. Why would they be standing for so long in such a dense part of the forest? A sense of dread unfurls in my gut, cold and heavy as lead. Probably just displaced emotion from watching my father die. But I can’t shake it.

Nayti ikh.

Find them.

I don’t bother changing out of the suit I wore for my father’s final moments. The fabric feels suddenly restrictive across my shoulders, the tie a noose around my neck. I loosen it with one finger as I head directly to the garage, selecting the motorcycle for its ability to navigate the narrow forest paths. Within minutes, I’m accelerating past the manicured gardens into the wilder terrain beyond.

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