Page 86 of Porcelain Lies

“What if I lose my job, Hannah?” I feel my eyes go wide. I’m on my feet and starting to pace. “I’ll be unemployed with a baby!”

“Let’s not immediately assume the worst, okay?” Hannah still has her phone in her hand. “Besides, this guy is loaded, right? He needs to cough up.”

I give a small, humorless laugh. “Sure. I bet he’ll be thrilled to learn he knocked me up and now has a kid to look after.”

“Girl, it takes two to tango. He’s a big boy. He knows how babies are made. This is as much his responsibility as it is yours.”

“I don’t think it works that way, Hann.” I sigh.

Hannah snorts. “Well, it should. Do you know how to reach him?”

“Aside from walking up to his front gate?” I pull a face.

“I’ll get his number. I know a guy who knows a guy, if you know what I mean.” She winks at me before looking down at her phone again.

No. I don’t know what she means. All I know is that I can’t stop moving. My feet trace the same path between the living room and kitchen while Hannah taps away on her phone, muttering about security clearances and database access. The apartment feels too small, like the walls are closing in with each circuit.

My stomach growls, a welcome distraction from the anxiety churning inside. I yank open the fridge door, scanning its contents. Last night’s Chinese takeout catches my eye. The container feels cool in my hands as I fish out cold noodles with my fingers.

“You know we have forks, right?” Hannah doesn’t look up from her phone. “And a microwave.”

I ignore her, shoving another tangle of lo mein into my mouth. The salt and oil coat my tongue, providing momentary relief from the panic. I spot the leftover chocolate cake from Sarah’s birthday party and grab that too.

“Got something,” Hannah announces just as I’m licking frosting off my thumb. “His private number’s heavily protected, but I managed to get it with a little digging.”

The cake turns to sawdust in my mouth. I swallow hard, setting the container down with trembling hands. The temporary comfort from the food evaporates as reality crashes back.

“Maybe we should wait,” I say, wiping my hands on my pajama pants. “You know, until after the doctor confirms…”

Hannah gives me her patented “don’t be stupid” look. “And then what? You’ll find another excuse not to tell him?”

She’s right, but I can’t admit it. Instead, I grab the cake again, focusing on the rich chocolate rather than the growing terror in my chest. Each bite is a shield against having to make a decision.

“Do you want some time alone?” she asks when I’ve been silent for too long.

I nod. “Would you mind? I need to clear my head a little.”

“All good, hon. I gotta get to work. Will you be okay?”

“Yeah,” I say. “I just need a moment.” I give a tight smile. “I’ll head out to the office in a bit too. Just need to pull myself together.”

“Just promise you’ll call me if you need anything, okay?” She squeezes my shoulder before heading to grab her purse. “Anytime.”

“Sure.” I smile again. It’s not much better than the last one.

Hannah blows a kiss as she walks out the door, shutting it behind her.

I curl up on the couch, pulling my knees to my chest as the sugar rush from the cake fades. The quiet apartment amplifies the voice in my head.

“You got jiggy with two men in the span of days,”Boyana’s voice whispers.“What would Mama say?”

“Shut up,” I mutter, pressing my forehead against my knees. “I did what I had to do. For Nick.”

“Did you? Or did you want Aleksei that night at the manor?”

“Gianni was different,” I argue with my imaginary sister. “That was survival.”

“But Aleksei…”

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