Page 5 of Porcelain Lies

I move closer, resting my hand on his shoulder. The familiar ache hits my chest – he’s so brilliant, yet trapped in thiswing of the house for his safety. But his mind… his mind roams free through worlds I barely understand.

“The other day, I was reading about quantum computing applications in medical—”

“Medlenno. Slow down.” I squeeze his shoulder gently. “Save some discoveries for tomorrow,malysh.”

He grins up at me, that pure smile that makes me forget every dark thing I’ve done. “Will you bring me more books? About artificial intelligence?”

“Of course.” I’d bring him the moon if he asked. “Whatever you need for your research.”

I settle into the chair beside Bobik’s bed as he spreads out the glossy pages across his lap. His fingers trace the detailed illustrations of prehistoric beasts, voice rising with excitement.

“See these markings on the Velociraptor’s skull? New evidence suggests they had feathers, like modern birds. And their hunting patterns—” He flips to another page. “They were pack hunters, using complex strategies.”

I nod, letting his enthusiasm wash over me. The technical terms blur together, but his face lights up with each revelation. He’s memorized every detail, every theory.

“And look at this one about black holes.” He reaches for another book, carefully balancing it against his chair’s control panel. “Scientists think they might be portals to other universes. The math behind it is fascinating—”

“Show me.” I lean closer, breathing in the familiar scent of his shampoo as he walks me through the equations. Most of it is beyond me – numbers were never my strength – but I recognize the sharp intelligence in his explanations.

“The gravitational forces would tear apart anything that crosses the event horizon, but theoretically—” He pauses, catching my confused expression. “Papa, are you following this?”

“Every word,” I lie, making him laugh.

“You have that look again. Like when I tried explaining quantum entanglement.”

I check my watch, the motion automatic after years of timing these visits. The numbers mock me – another precious hour gone.

“Malysh…” I start.

His smile dims. He knows what’s coming. “Just ten more minutes? I haven’t shown you the new theory about dark matter.”

The plea in his voice twists something in my chest. But routine keeps him safe. Structure protects him.

My attention shifts from Bobik as Olga enters with a tray of drinks, her sweater hanging loose where it used to fit snugly. The shadows under her eyes have deepened since last week.

“Drinks for everyone,” she says brightly, but for some reason, her voice catches my attention. She hasn’t been herself lately. Although, to be fair, the mother of my child has never been a strong woman. It’s probably why I insisted they both stay with me, even though it was clear that she and I would never be more than a fleeting dalliance. And, of course, after the disaster surrounding Bobik’s birth…

I shake my head. I don’t want to think about that right now.

I watch Olga’s trembling hands as she sets down our drinks. Her wrists look skeletal, bones pressing against paper-thin skin. The weight loss is dramatic – her once-healthy frame now swimming in clothes that fit properly just weeks ago.

“You should sit.” I gesture to the empty chair.

“I’m fine standing.” Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. Dark circles beneath them tell a different story. As Bobik turns his attention to his books, I turn to her.

“When did you last see a doctor?”

She busies herself arranging the glasses, avoiding my gaze. “Don’t start, Aleksei. I don’t need your mothering.”

“This isn’t mothering. You’re sick.”

“I’m tired. There’s a difference.” Her hand trembles as she pushes hair from her face. The grey pallor of her skin sets off warning bells.

“Tired doesn’t make you drop thirty pounds in three months.”

“Please.” The sharpness in her voice catches me off guard. “I don’t need this right now. Not from you.”

I lean back, studying her. The defensive posture. The way she angles her body away from me. She’s hiding something.

---