Page 18 of The Preacher's Pet

I barely even got the chance to look at the new girl properly the first time I saw her, but each time I’ve seen her since, I’ve been hungry for more detail, and now it’s as though she’s burned herself onto my brain. My thoughts keep drifting back to thosewide, blue eyes, and the terror that had flooded through them upon seeing us. The slender elegance of her bare arms and how her dress had clung to her body as she’d run past us. I don’t think she’d meant for the garment to outline every inch of her body, but it had. I’d been able to see the exact shape of her legs and breasts, even the dip of her navel through the white material.

Her mouth—her pretty, pink lips—keeps pushing its way into my mind. Her gaze when she’d looked at me in the cafeteria.

It’s clear now that I am in danger of falling down a path of weakness. I asked my ancestors and the gods for guidance after I saw her in the cafeteria, and they helped me, but their answer was to come here and purge. This pain is showing me the truth, and it’s hard to accept.

This isn’t who I am. I’ve pushed away the need for any sexual release for the longest time. I no longer feel desire, or so I’ve told myself for the past couple of years. I’m beyond that now. I’ve ascended. To feel such things is a mortal debasement of the immortal soul. To feel such things is weak. To act on them the way I have is even worse.

Am I aiming to become a god? Of course not. Do I believe I can get closer to the gods? Absolutely. I’ve already been blessed with power. It’s not magic, it’s Mother Nature. It’s energy that exists all around us, and learning to channel that has made me more than just a man. It’s the answer to what will raise us above the rest of the assholes in this place. It’ll give us power above all the others, and they’ll never understand how we made everything go our way. You can manifest things using the energy of nature, the divine, the universe. So many names for it, but it flows through us all, and I have learned to harness it.

I know others in the university think we’re crazy, but they’re the foolish ones. Just because they don’t understand something doesn’t mean it isn’t real. Releasing that energy by something as debased as sex is just a waste.

I clench my teeth and bring the rope down on my back again. My skin flares with heat and pain. I need it to force the images of the new girl from my head. I don’t like the way my body reacts to thoughts of her. It’s a dangerous situation. I also don’t like the way my fellow Preachers reacted to her either. The way Cain had run after her, the look in Malachi’s eyes. I sense she’s going to become a problem.

I pause for a moment, breathing hard. The coolness from the ground rises, chilling my knees through the material of my jeans, dampening the denim. The rope isn’t thin enough to cut, but it will cause welts. I’ll just make sure no one sees me shirtless while it heals, not even the other Preachers. We are close, but this is the one thing I keep from them. I fear even they wouldn’t understand. I know they both went through some shit when they were younger, just like me, but it wasn’t the same. Violence is one thing, and I hate that Cain and Malachi were both hurt, but the way I was hurt is different. It’s the kind of hurt that will never leave me and never dull in its intensity. It sickens me and fills me with shame, and I know the only way to truly escape it is to ascend. To become something other than sexual. Something other than a mere animal living by my desires and impulses.

The gods, and my ancestors, told me to do this, so here I am. It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last, and it always makes me feel better. Others might see what I’m doing and assume I’m punishing myself, but that isn’t entirely true. I’m trying to reach a higher plane, to transcend the pain of the flesh. If I can completely clear my mind, and no longer feel pain, then I’ll be closer to spiritual release than the majority of mankind will ever get to experience.

But when I pause in my movements for a brief moment to take a breath,herface and body creep back into my mind. I want to roar my frustration. Why can’t I stop thinking about her?

I continue with the motions of self-flagellation, but I can’t get her out of my head now.

Sometimes, something shifts in the world. A split second occurs, and you know things are going to change. That’s how I feel now this girl has walked into our lives. We didn’t ask for her to be here, yet here she is.

With a growl, I release the rope and drop to all fours at the base of the tree. The wind rustles the branches above head, and an insect buzzes close to my ear.

I dig my fingers into the earth, dirt forcing its way under my nails. I curl my toes, feeling the damp soil against my skin. My feet are bare. I removed my boots as soon as I came outside. There is nothing more important than connecting with nature via the soles of your feet, absorbing nutrients, and connecting with Mother Earth. My wooden floorboards are better than the fake wool carpet the college uses, but nothing beats this. I swear I can feel the vibrations of nature reaching the very core of me. This is how we become powerful. It’s not through money or possessions. It’s understanding how the world truly works and letting that energy move through us. It makes me laugh, the way people act these days. Humanity’s time on this planet is so fleeting, and we waste so much of it focusing on the wrong things.

The skin of my back burns, but a cool breeze washes across it. It feels like Mother Nature comforting me, soothing me. I’m breathing hard and soaked in sweat. My spine aches where the rope caught against the bones a few times, but I welcome the pain. I welcome the distraction. The breeze, the soothing gentleness of it, once more drifts over my sensitive skin, already healing.

“Thank you,” I murmur.

As the pain eases, however, that sinking feeling returns. Normally, this works for me, and it lasts for a good lengthof time. Thank the gods, because I can’t be doing this every day. Not now, though. As the adrenaline fades, I realize that ultimately, I don’t feel any better.

Anger spikes within me. I grind my teeth and let out a low growl. This is all her fault. How can I feel better when I know this girl is still around? It’s not easy to avoid people here. We’re not in the middle of a big city—thank the gods—where you can become anonymous. I’ll keep seeing her.Theywill keep seeing her, Cain and Malachi, and I don’t think my fellow Preachers are quite as committed as I am to our way of life. I worry that with her links to Cain, she’ll become a thorn in our side. Maybe she’ll want to hang around with us and thinks she can be a part of what we’re building here. That will never do.

She isn’t one of us.

If I tell Cain and Malachi they need to stay away from the new girl, will they listen? Will they understand? Knowing they possibly won’t is like a weight in my gut. I can’t ignore what’s happening, though. What is the point of this power, this ability to sense things deeply, if I choose to ignore it? I will talk to Mal first. He might be the easiest to get on my side, despite the way he’d looked at her. If I can do so, then he can help me work on Cain.

The wind whispers through the trees, and it’s as if Mother Nature is trying to tell me—warnme—to stop this now. This is why the ancestors sent me here today to do this; the message must be heard.

Deep down, I sense this girl has the power to destroy us.

11

MALACHI

I trythe door to the water tower, but it’s locked. I take out my key and let myself in. We never used to lock the door, but too much crap went down with the Vipers and others letting themselves into our space. One time we came back to find someone had used the fucking bed. We don’t want people to be able to get in and destroy our place.

The familiar space soothes me immediately. It smells good in here, of herbs and candles and spices. The light is dim, but in a comforting way. The windows are small, due to the original usage of the building. Sunlight hits a patch of floor, and dust motes dance in the beam.

I toss my bag and kick off my shoes. I walk over to the bed and fall on it, lying on my back, one arm over my face as I let myself decompress. The day has been kind of strange so far. I can’t stop thinking about what happened with Ophelia this morning. She’s clearly messed up emotionally, and I should absolutelynotbe having fantasies of fucking her. Of touching her. Even worse, fantasies of her being with me, and us having some sort of relationship. I’m far too fucked up to consider that, and she’s clearly in a bad way, too.

Still, it doesn’t stop me constantly thinking about it. Abouther. When I’d kneeled next to her on the ground, I’d inhaled a scent that was purely her. Clean skin and lightly coconut scented hair. She’d smelled like a girl fresh out of the shower, and it made my mouth water. There’s nothing sexier than smelling skin without any perfume to get in the way. It made me want to nuzzle against the softness of her neck.

It made me want to kiss her.

For a brief, charged moment, we’d been about to kiss. I’m sure of it.

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