Page 39 of Need You to Choose Me

Ugh. I hate this. I hate being lonely. I hate feeling like I need somebody when I know I don’t. It taunts me, scratching at my conscious. And worse. My heart.

Peeling my gaze away from my brother, I bite down on the inside of my cheek and realize the room is silent.

“Olive?” Mom says softly.

I blink. “Huh?”

“Tori asked if you would be interested in her putting a good word in at the company she works for,” Sebastian says, his eyes piercing mine like he thinks he can intimidate me into saying yes to her help.

Well played, brother. But not well enough to change my mind. I look at Tori. “I appreciate the offer, but I’ll figure it out on my own. I always do.”

Mom touches my hand. “It’s a sweet offer.”

“It is,” I agree. “But I’m not going to take it.”

Sebastian sighs.

“I think it’s admirable,” Tori says.

I smile, but it disappears when Sebastian murmurs, “It’s only admirable until she’s working at Burger King flipping burgers instead of accepting anybody’s help.”

Mom stares at him. “Seb…”

“What? You know I’m right.”

For both of our sakes, I hope he isn’t.

*

It’s three daysbefore I go back to Lindon when Bodhi walks into my room holding a bag of cheese puffs that I know for a fact is from our snack cupboard because of the sparkly chip clip still attached to the top.

“Hey, little Henderson,” he greets, looking around my room while shoving his hand into the bag and shoveling the food into his mouth. I’ll give him this, he doesn’t make a mess. Not one piece hits the floor. Which is probably good because my bedroom carpet is off-white, and Mom almost lost her shit when I was fourteen and spilled my soda on it. She spent hours trying to get the stain out. Now the only thing left is the faded remnants of a mad woman at work.

“Making yourself at home?” I muse as he turns to the shelf that has some old DVDs I haven’t watched in years.

With a mouthful of food, he says, “A big John Hughes fan, huh? I never got into his stuff. Like, what was the point ofSixteen Candles?”

I lower the phone I was aimlessly scrolling on to look at him. “Well, you’re not a sixteen-year-old girl, so I don’t imagine that movie would strike anything for you.”

He shrugs casually. “Fair point, O-Dawg.”

I’m grateful he doesn’t feel weird around me. Sex tends to complicate things, which I never understood. I can name the number of times I’ve caught the feels where sex was involved, but it went beyond the physical thing. I mean, penises aren’t that attractive. How could you fall in love with one? It has to be more—wit, charm, personality.

Bodhi scans the rest of my nostalgic setup, nodding like he’s impressed by something. “No sports teams? Not even the Giants?”

My lifts twitch upward at the mention of my favorite football team. I told Sebastian he should have tried out for football and worked his way up to the NFL so I could meet Eli Manning. My phone screen has been the same photo of the two-time Super Bowl MVP award winner since I was sixteen. I have no shame. Retired or not, he’s my favorite. I’d cry if I ever met him. Someday, if I ever get married, I’d probably still have him as my background. My future husband will just have to accept it.

It makes me think of the time I went to see Sebastian play.Think about Eli Manning.I still love the athlete, clearly, but I definitely struggled the second Alex’s icy eyes found mine.

“I used to have a poster of the Giants, but Sebastian tore it down when they won against the Patriots. He was a turd back then.”

“Back then?” Bodhi jokes.

I snort. “Yeah, he can still be a shithead. You going to share those? If you’re raiding our pantry, the least you can do is share the loot.”

He walks over and holds out the bag for me to take some of the cheese-dusted yumminess.

“He was a turd for how he broke the news to us about his pregnant wife,” I say, knowing damn well he knows about Tori.

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