Page 17 of Need You to Choose Me

She presses her hand against her son’s ear. “I cried when I found out. They weren’t happy tears at first. I love him so much and I wouldn’t change a thing, obviously, but I was terrified. I felt like a—”

“Teen mom,” we say simultaneously.

I knew we were friends for a reason. “I could be forty years old with a positive pregnancy test and still consider myself a teen mom,” I admit. “I would call my mom crying asking what to do.”

She giggles, dropping her hand. “For whatever it’s worth, I think you’d make a great mom.Ifthat’s what you want. I’m never going to try convincing anybody one way or another. Kids are a lot of work. I’m really lucky I have Danny and our families to help out. But even then, I get worried about messing this kid up.”

“You’ll probably make mistakes, but that’s what will make Bentley normal,” I reassure her. My mother certainly wasn’t perfect. And my father…well, I don’t want to go there.

She smiles, nuzzling her nose against Bentley’s head. “Anyway, are you still leaving tomorrow? I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll only be gone for a few weeks. I promised Mom that I’d spend some time with her this summer. And my dad convinced me to pop by and visit him while I was in Vermont.”

Although, I’m already dreading that. I know Sebastian will have to back out for some work-related thing, leaving me stuck with his comments about my weight instead of deflecting by talking up Sebastian’s career. Out of the two of us, Dad is way more interested in my brother’s life. It used to bother me, until I realized I could use it to my advantage.

“You don’t talk about him much,” she notes.

What is there to say? “He doesn’t agree with how my mother has raised me. At least, with how she let me get so fat.”

Skylar frowns. “Olive—”

“Look, I know I’m overweight. I’ve been that way my whole life. That’s not a secret. When I played basketball, it wasn’t so bad because I was active. But even then, my father would make comments about how important it was to lose weight and be healthy. Whenever I’d go to his house during our weekends with him, he’d monitor everything I ate and drank. And his girlfriend at the time would lock the food pantry after seven o’clock and put one of those timers on it so nobody could unlock it until eight the next morning.”

A horrified expression takes over Skylar’s face. “That’s horrible. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

Me too. But what’s done is done. “Despite all the harsh things he’s ever said about me, I still love myself. That’s what’s important. I have great tits and an amazing personality. And any man would be damn lucky to have me.”

“Amen,” she replies. Bentley starts getting fussy and Skylar sniffs the air. “Uh-oh. Did you poop? I really hope it’s not another blowout. Danny almost puked the last time that happened. It would have sucked to clean up two messes.”

I can totally see that.

Sliding off the chair, I stand. “On that note, I should probably go pack. I haven’t done anything like I told my mom I did.”

She gives me a hug. “Text me when you get to your mom’s house so I know you made it. And let me know when you’re coming home. I’ll make Danny watch Bentley so we can have a girl’s night.”

“As if you won’t check my location thirty times while I’m gone,” I muse, unfazed by her overprotection.

It’s kind of nice.

“You can always shoot me an SOS text while you’re with your dad,” she offers, rocking Bentley to soothe him. “I can call you with an emergency that requires your immediate attention here in Lindon. Maybe a blocked milk duct. Those things hurt like a bitch.”

I grab my purse and keys and give her a hug, pecking my nephew on the cheek. “I’ll keep that in mind. Love you.”

“Love you too! Let me know when you get back,” she calls after me.

On the short drive back to the dorms, I crank up John Mayer singing to me all about how my body is wonderland to drown out the other thoughts trying to push their way in. Unfortunately, the more I listen to one of my favorite artists sing about discovering every inch of porcelain skin, the more I think about how long it’s been since anybody has touchedmyskin. Which, granted, is a shade or two above porcelain. But still.

When he talks about getting lost in a sea of blankets and using his hands, it only reminds me of how badly I need to get laid. I’ve never been that sexual of a person until Alex sparked an appetite for intimacy. And he didn’t shy away from anything. He was insatiable and unapologetic. And while I think he used sex as an escape, it was an escape I was more than willing to give him when he used those skillful hands and full lips to do naughty things to my lady bits.

And…now I’m horny. Great.

Suddenly, John Mayer’s voice is filtered out as I think about that phone call. As much as I wish I hadn’t picked up, I did. And my heart did a silly little dance in my chest when I heard his husky voice as if he was trying to keep from people listening in.

Then again, he’d always sort of done that. It wasn’t like he’d ever hidden me. People knew we had a thing. A few of his friends even asked if I was ever going to come over to their frat house to hang out and watch the game or play video games with them.I never did, but it made me feel…seen. Like I was important enough to be tied to Alex.

I wasn’t dumb. I knew a lot of girls were.

When a guy looks the way Alex does, it attracts attention. A lot of female, and gay male, attention. But he never made me feel like there was competition when we were together. It was him and me. Puck bunnies didn’t seem to persuade him, and neither did my brother being, well, my brother.

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