Page 5 of Rough Around the Hedges

“That’s why I hung up those lost posters all over town.”

Isa stared at me. “Ah, yes. The campaign to find the late duke’s lost humanity. What was the reward again? A dozen fresh eggs?”

“Hey, have you seen the price of eggs? That was a solid reward.”

“Yes, but you only had Waffles at that point, and Waffles doesn’t lay eggs.”

“I didn’t know he was a boy back then. He could have laid eggs for all I knew.” I held up my hands. “But did the posters work?”

“Given that Waffles is now the allotment’s resident six-timing heathen and a father several times over, yes.”

She made him sound like such a slut.

All right.

Maybe he was a little.

“And I got the primary school to stop doing their spring hatch project unless a farmer was involved from start to finish, so it was a double win in my eyes.” I reached up into the vegetable bed and used my nail to break off a spinach leaf that I offered to Pancake.

She plucked it from my fingers and turned, immediately dropping it on the ground and making a weird little clucking noise that was almost turkey-esque. The bread babies immediately scurried back to her and started pecking at the spinach leaf, so I broke off another couple of them and added to their collection.

I didn’t want my precious breadcrumbs to fight.

“Well, I have to agree with you there,” Isa said. “We get calls at the office so often from people who don’t know what to do with chicks. People don’t realise how much heat they need.”

Barmcake shuffled under Pancake’s wing as if to emphasise Isa’s point about warmth.

“Just like that.” She laughed. “Anyway, I tried to call Jake earlier to confirm the collection of Bongo’s balls, but he didn’t pick up. Are you seeing him later?”

Yeah.

That sounded about right.

My brother was useless at picking up the phone. It wouldn’t surprise me if he showed up at the vet’s office to get his kitten’s balls chopped off at six a.m. on a Sunday morning.

I nodded. “Yeah, just text me the details and I’ll make him call you tomorrow.”

“Thanks.” Isa checked her watch. “I have to go. I’ll leave the cake in your shed.”

“Did you come all the way here just to ask me about Jake?”

“No, Mum wanted me to check on her strawberries. The birds keep getting to them before she can despite her coverings, and she’s losing her marbles. She wants to see if the painted pebbles have worked.” She got to her feet and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Don’t stay here too long. You’ll get sunburnt, and people are really going to think we’re dating if anyone else sees me rubbing after-sun all over your back again.”

“I’m a catch. You should be honoured that people think you’re my girlfriend.”

“Well, I’m not.” She glared at me. “Rose. Promise me.”

I grinned up at her. “I won’t stay too long. I promise.”

“Make sure she keeps her word, George!” Isa hollered over the fence.

George touched his fingertips to his head in a salute. “Yes, milady!”

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ROSE

Nightmare Fuel

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