Page 58 of Rough Around the Hedges

“Yes, as the person who saved the allotments from the tyrannical duke who raised a legal army to oppress the peasants.”

“Wow. You really do have a whole fictional universe inside your head, don’t you?”

“Shut up and obey your big sister,” I said, prodding his cheek and making him wince away from me. “We have a media article finally going out, and this protest will be the catalyst for attention. I don’t care if my face is plastered everywhere. Besides, I’m not the only one utilising the coverage capabilities of leafy greens today.”

Jake blinked at me. “It’s George, isn’t it?”

“It’s a secret.”

“It’s George.” He sighed. “I was thinking about stopping by and offering my support, but I think I’ll pass. My life is tough enough without seeing the pensioners of Hanbury running around in lettuce loin cloths.”

“You traitorous little shit. Do I have to tell Mum it wasyouthat chipped her crystal swan statues four years ago? Or that it was, in fact, an underage Jacob Lee Matthews who stole vodka from the liquor cabinet and threw up in Dad’s expensive workboots? Or that—”

He cleared his throat. “What time is the protest, again?”

“We leave the allotments in forty-five minutes. On that note, I’m off. Don’t be late.” I grabbed the box filled with protest signs from the dining table. “And don’t tell Mum what I’m up to.”

“Doesn’t matter. It’s not like she’s going to get you out of jail after the time you got caught having sex.”

“That was an unfortunate mistake,” I replied.

And I was much younger than I was now.

“Only because you got caught.”

“No, the whole thing was a mistake. Honestly, bad sex is always a mistake, caught or not.”

“That’s too much information.”

“I prefer to think of it as solid life advice.”

“You can think? Colour me shocked.”

“I will make my chicken shit in your shoes,” I snapped. “Go and open the front door for me, brat.”

Jake sighed and got up. “When are you moving out? My life will be so much better when I don’t have to speak to you every day.”

“Then feel free to leave,” I shot back, following him to the front door. “You’re old enough to move out.”

“You’re ten years older than me, Rose.”

“Then it’s about time you started respecting your elders, you whippersnapper.”

Jake blinked at me. “You spend way too much time with people over the age of seventy.”

It was a point I really wished I could argue.

Alas, one couldn’t argue with the truth.

I’d tried before. And, really, if anyone was going to succeed at such a thing, it would be me.

As my mother liked to point out, I’d have been an excellent lawyer if I’d have ever learnt how to control my temper… or learnt how to live indoors like a normal person.

And, you know.

Didn’t end up in a jail cell for a time out on a semi-regular basis.

That’d really put a dampener on any legal career.

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