Page 23 of Rough Around the Hedges

No wonder my cousins hated introducing their girlfriends to me. It can’t have been easy for them to admit they were often beaten up by a girl when we were kids.

I cleared my throat. “Does anyone outside of the committee know about the closure?”

Echoes of ‘no’ came from everyone.

Great. I wasn’t about to tell them I’d spilt the beans to my parents, brother, and best friends.

“Good. Let’s keep it that way until we have more information. I’ll try to see Mr de Havilland as soon as possible. Until then…” I opened the folder and looked at everyone. “Normal service shall resume in this meeting.”

Deb reached into her bag and pulled out a bottle of gin. “I’ve got the gin.”

“I’ve got the mixers,” Craig said, producing a wine carrier box from under the table and putting it in front of him.

“And I’ve got the cups!” Lisa brandished a stack of paper cups decorated with unicorns and little gold stars. “I swiped the leftovers from my niece’s fifth birthday party. Aren’t they colourful?”

Paula blinked at them. “I thought Colin banned alcohol in these meetings after George fell asleep in his shed and Rose almost got arrested for blasting silly string all over the gates of the Hanbury Estate.”

“Rose always gets arrested. It’s fine,” Richard said.

“Once again, I do notalwaysget arrested, I get taken for a time out to calm down,” I said. “If you check my record, I’ve only ever been officially arrested three times, and one of those wasn’t even my fault. It was a case of mistaken identity.”

Deb paused midway through pouring us all a drink. “How does anyone mistake your identity? You have red wavy hair. You’re the only person in Hanbury with red wavy hair. How does anyone mistake your red wavy hair?”

“For the love of God, Deb, stop saying ‘red wavy hair.’”

“Is that really the point here when she has been legitimately arrested twice?” Alan asked. “Whatwereyou arrested for, Rose?”

Being drunk underage and having sex in a car in a public place.

Not that I was going to tell them that.

I coughed into my hand, turning my attention to my folder. “Can we please get back to the meeting? If not, I’ll be forced to take the gin until you behave yourselves.”

Colin cleared his throat. “All right, let’s behave. We know she will.”

“Only because she took it home last time,” Paula grumbled.

“And it was delicious, thank you for asking,” I said, clapping my hands together. “Now, let’s discuss the naked calendar.”

George grinned. “My schlongs are ready for you, Rose.”

“You’re better off saving your marrows for Susan, George.” I peered over at him. “And please, please stop calling them schlongs.”

George did not stop calling his marrows schlongs.

For theentirerest of the meeting.

I could not express how tiring it was to keep these people in line. I wasn’t even the craziest person there, and that was saying something, given my track record.

Honestly, sometimes I felt like their mother. Given that I could be the grandchild of at least four or five of them, it was a bit on the icky side. Then again, my grandmother had once told me that the elderly often reverted to toddler mentality and used it as an excuse to get away with murder, so perhaps I shouldn’t have been as surprised as I was, given their general personalities.

It was also overwhelming. Any one of the other committee members was far more qualified to be the chair than I was, yet they’d all voted me in when the temporary chair had retired.

Not that it mattered who was in charge if the allotments were going to be shut down.

Now, that was my biggest problem, not George’s use of casual sexual innuendos for vegetables.

Namely, I needed to meet with the new Duke of Hanbury. There really were few things I wanted to do less than lay my eyes on his stupid handsome face, but I had no other choice.

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