Page 159 of Rough Around the Hedges

“Step on their foot and shove my elbow into their gut.”

“Then call Dad to finish the job and take the blame.” He winked at me, then paused. “You sure you’re all right, kiddo?”

“Yeah.” I smiled sadly. “You know me, Dad. There’s nothing I can’t get over.”

“Ain’t just about the allotments, though, is it? We ain’t idiots, Rose. We know you weren’t at Isa’s.”

“I was at Isa’s.”

“No, you weren’t. That girl couldn’t lie her way out of a wet paper bag if her life depended on it.”

Goddamn it, Isadora.

“It’s fine, Dad. Gotta kiss a few frogs, right?” I smiled again. “This frog was just a big, fat, slimy, smelly toad.”

“Say that to his face and I bet you’ll feel better.”

“Eh, I’ll probably say worse.” I shrugged a shoulder and pushed off the doorframe. “I have to get going.”

“All right. Don’t forget, if you need me, just call me.”

“I know.” I tucked my hair behind my ear. “See you later, Dad.”

“Later, darlin’.”

I left the house, only to run right into Jake coming home. He looked like utter shit, and I knew exactly what he’d been doing all night.

“Dad’s in the living room,” I said, reaching into Isa’s car and pulling out a packet of face wipes I’d bought during my disappearance last night.

He stilled, staring at my offering.

“You’ve got pizza sauce on your face. Do you want him to know you were so drunk last night that you fell asleep in a pizza box again?”

He took a few wipes out of the packet and scrubbed at his face. “Thanks for the warning. You look like shit, do you know that?”

“That’s hardly a compliment coming from Mr Hangover himself,” I said dryly. “But yes, I know that.”

He scrunched the wipes up in his hand. “Sorry, Rose.”

“You? Apologising for something? Are you still drunk?”

“Nah. The allotments. I heard he signed the contract.”

I grimaced. “Yeah. Well, we all tried. It was inevitable.”

“You want me to beat him up for you?”

I laughed and pinched Jake’s nose. “What could you do to him, you scrawny little git? Besides, Dad already offered. You can drive the getaway car.”

He shoved my hand away from his face and rubbed his nose. “Ungrateful cow.”

“Daaaad!” I shouted, turning back towards the house.

“Your hair looks great today,” Jake said quickly, stepping back. “Really matches those bags under your eyes.”

“You little—”

“Jake, stop winding up your sister,” Dad said from the doorway. “Aren’t you two too old for this shit?”

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