Page 64 of Rough Around the Hedges

“I don’t know why I’m surprised. It’s not even close to the strangest thing I’ve ever seen you do.”

“How is it possible that she’s done stranger things than this?” Oliver asked. “I feel like I’ve been in the twilight zone ever since I arrived in Hanbury. Just when I think this one is somewhat normal, she pulls a stunt like this, and I wonder what the hell I’m doing with my life.”

“That’s because you met the Queen of the Weirdos as soon as you arrived,” Shaun replied. “And pissed her off almost instantly.”

Actually, the first thing he’d done to me after we met was make me very happy indeed, but I wasn’t about to bring that up.

God only knew Oliver had referred to that night enough for the both of us.

“You were doomed from that moment,” Shaun finished.

I grinned at Oliver. “You’re welcome.”

Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose. “Rose, that’s nothing to be proud of.”

“I’m sorry.” I held up a hand. “While I’m being discussed in my capacity as the Queen of the Weirdos, I must request that you address me as Your Majesty.”

“Bloody hell.” He stared at me with his bright blue eyes for a moment, then shook his head and turned away. “Well, if you’re not being arrested, there’s no need for me to be here. You don’t need a lawyer.”

I narrowed my eyes. “What does me needing a lawyer have to do with your unfortunate presence?”

“I was considering swallowing my pride and hiring you one,” he said, looking over his shoulder. “After all, like you said, you have the legal right to protest, whether I like it or not.”

“And you… would hire me a lawyer? Even though I was running through the village in a lettuce leaf bikini with a sign that says, ‘Just Stop Oli’ in one hand and a chicken in the other?”

His eye twitched. “You also took a chicken on your protest?”

“The chicken was safely and quickly returned to the allotments,” Shaun said tiredly. “Don’t worry.”

Oliver glanced between us. “Was it Waffles?”

A sinister smile crept across my face. “If I’m using a chicken to threaten you, it’llalwaysbe my little snookums.”

“Snookums,” he echoed, taking a step further back from the cell door. “Shaun, what are the grounds for a mental health hold?”

“Referring to a rooster as her snookums is not one of them,” he replied. “If it were, I’d have had her checked years ago.”

“Shh.” I pressed my finger to my lips and glared at him. “Waffles can’t find out he wasn’t my first feathered love. We don’t know what he might do to Oliver if he knows the truth.”

Oliver spun back to look at me. “Why would your weird love affair with your rooster have anything to do with me?”

“Have you spoken to Isadora by any chance?” I narrowed my eyes. “And it has everything to do with you. There’s every chance I’ll rile Waffles up before I let him loose in your mansion one day.”

“It’s a manor house, not a mansion.”

“Whoop-de-doo,” I replied, rolling my eyes. “Weren’t you leaving?”

“Fortunately, I am.” He rolled his shoulders and looked at Shaun. “Would you release her to me?”

Please, God, no.

Shaun turned to me and smiled.

“I am nowhere near calm enough to be let out of my cell,” I said quickly, lying down on the bed. “And what I said about this bed sucking? It was a bout of temporary insanity. This is themost comfortable bed I’ve ever laid down on. I should really stay here to think about my behaviour some more.”

“Rose May Matthews, I’m releasing you into the care of His Grace, the Duke of Hanbury.” Shaun’s shit eating grin stayed on his face as he unlocked the door. “Please make your way towards reception with His Grace to collect your belongings.”

I was going to kill him.

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