Page 63 of Rough Around the Hedges

Snitches got stitches, after all.

Besides, he hadn’t even mentioned it, and he definitely knew I was behind it. Nobody else was so unhinged as to organise such a thing.

And, well.

It wasn’t the first time I’d been behind the silly stringing of those particular gates. It was practically tradition.

“You threw a plum at Mr Turner,” Oliver reminded me.

“Did I hit him, though?” I shrugged, holding out my hands. “If I didn’t hit him, I didn’t harm him, thus no laws broken.”

He opened his mouth to argue with me, then froze and turned back to Shaun. “Wait. You just said youusuallyrelease her when Isa comes to get her. How often does this actually happen?”

Shaun glanced at me. “It’s not the first time.”

“Probably not the last, either,” I replied. But this pompous prick knew that already, so why was he even asking? There was no way his little spy had left out my dubious legal record when he researched me.

Shaun nodded. “Probably not.”

Oliver looked between us. “This place is insane.”

“Feel free to leave whenever,” I said flatly, looking at my nails. “Nobody will miss you. In fact, we’d all chip in for the bus fare. I’ll drive it for you, too. Even your mother agrees with me that you’re a no-good, rotten bastard.”

“Yes, I did notice that you’d roped my mother into your protest.”

“Wrong.” I held up a finger. “Your lovely mother knocked on my front door earlier today and practically begged me to allow her to be involved. Who am I to ignore the pleas of a noble viscountess?”

“You ignore the pleas of a duke just fine,” he said.

“That’s because you’re a no-good, rotten bastard, and your mother is an absolute fucking delight. Did you see her waving around that sign demanding that we save Susan’s melons? She’s one of us now.”

“It sounds like you’re starting a cult over at the allotments.”

“Maybe I am. Me and your mother will probably run it. What are you gonna do about it, Mr Fancypants? Cults aren’t illegal in the U.K.”

“Perhaps I should utilise my connections and petition for a change in the law.”

“And you wonder why I call you a tyrant.”

Oliver gave me a withering look and turned to Shaun, running his hand down his face. “Shaun, are yousurethere’s nothing you can charge her with?”

“I’m afraid not, Your Grace. Unless she actively breaks the law, there’s nothing we can do. Rose is scarily good at toeing the line of legality.”

I smiled.

That probably wasn’t something a cop should admit, but oh well.

Oliver side-eyed me. “Why do you look so proud of that?”

“Because I just know that really pisses you off, and that pleases me immensely.” I stretched my legs out in front of me. “Shaun, this bed sucks. Can I have a pillow?”

He stared at me. “No.”

“Why not? I’m not a criminal. I’m in time out. Like I’m a toddler.”

“You’re in there to think about how insane you are,” he said. “And where the hell did you even get the idea to make a lettuce bikini for your protest?”

I tapped the side of my head. “Right up here.”

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