Page 16 of Rough Around the Hedges

Shaun looked at my brother. “So… the new duke, right?”

Jake nodded. “Just don’t mention his name. Bongo has been in hiding since she screamed earlier.”

“It really is a good thing she isn’t in public if she’s already screaming,” Shaun muttered. “No wonder Isa called me and told me to move quickly.”

“Hey, I’m right here. I can hear what you degenerates are saying about me!” I thumped my fist against the table. “I’m having a crisis!”

“But you aren’t telling anyone what the crisis is, doofus.” Shaun poured a rum and coke for himself and sat back in the chair.

I was not about to discuss my sex life in front of my younger brother.

We weren’t that close.

Even if we were, I doubted I’d feel comfortable anyway.

I sighed and shoved the closure notice from Oliver towards him. “Read that shit.”

He picked it up and scanned it. “What is… Hold on. He’s shutting down the allotments?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Housing. He said he’s been approached by a developer who wants to throw up those stupid cookie-cutter new builds that fall apart at a mere gust of wind.”

Shaun eyed me over the top of the letter. “Is that what he said?”

“No. He said the allotments are dead land and it’s more profitable to sell it to a housing developer. The rest was my highly accurate interpretation.”

“And you let him walk out of there alive?”

“I had no choice. Susan almost broke her ankle trying to climb the fence to help Isa hold me back.” I sniffed, looking away. “Also, I don’t want to hurt him on a whim.”

“I see you’re finally maturing. It only took twenty-nine and a bit years.”

“I intend to plan my course of action down to the second to ensure that every ounce of pain I bestow upon him will be so intense that it’ll make him cower in fear at the mere mention of my name.”

“I take it back.”

“No, no, that’s her maturing,” my brother said, finally sitting down. “She’s actually planning her revenge now. Two years ago, she’d have just socked him with a spade and called it good.”

I held out my hand and raised my eyebrows in a, “See?” look at Shaun. “I am a mature woman now.”

“No,” Shaun replied. “Mature women wash their faces before they start drinking.”

“I washed my face.”

“Then you missed, like, five spots of dirt. You look like a child.”

“Wow. You’re supposed to be comforting me, not abusing me.”

“All in due time, Ro.” Shaun turned his attention back to the letter. “I can’t believe the first thing he’s done after coming back is close the allotments. He’s only been here for five minutes. His grandfather wasn’t exactly loved, so how does he think this is going to endear him to the locals?”

“Mmph. I’m not sure he did think.” I took a big gulp of my wine. “Do you think humans make a good fertiliser?”

“I don’t think you should be talking about murdering the Duke of Hanbury and burying him in your vegetable patch in front of a police officer,” Shaun drawled. “What are you going to do? Legally speaking.”

Legally?

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