Page 129 of Rough Around the Hedges

When did Rose do that?

What on Earth has my mother been doing behind my back?

“Since when did you do what you’re told?” Luke asked.

“I’d like to know that, too,” I said.

Mum waved her hand dismissively. “Since Rose told me. I like this one. I thought she might change her mind about dumping you if I stayed out of it.”

Luke choked, and I blinked at her. “Dumping me?” I said, gripping the arm of the chair. “What do you mean, dumping me? We’re not even in—no, wait. She was going to dump me before we even started a relationship?”

“Oh, dear,” Mum said quietly. “I don’t think I was supposed to say that.”

“What did you say to her? Dear God, Mother!”

“Simmer down, simmer down.” She flapped her hands, scooting to the edge of the sofa. “Look, she said she wouldn’t have a relationship with anyone if she held even a smidgen of resentment for them because it wouldn’t be fair to either party. Which, for what it’s worth, is a very responsible and mature position to take.”

My jaw slackened, and I stared at my mother, open-mouthed.

“Wait. I’m invested.” Luke choked back a laugh. “Sheresentshim? Are you telling me he’s making a production of not selling the allotments for a woman whoresentshim?”

Thank God I hadn’t kicked him out a minute ago.

He was asking the important questions here.

“Well, it’s not that shocking,” Mum replied. “He was selling her favourite place in the world. It’d be weirder if she didn’t hold any resentment for him, don’t you think?”

I slumped back in the chair.

“Don’t slouch so, dear. You’ll wrinkle your jacket.”

“What am I doing?” I muttered, pressing my fingers to my forehead. “How am I supposed to run a business and an estate when I’m this bloody stupid?”

“Been asking myself that for years,” Mum trilled. “You’re not entirely stupid, son. Academically speaking, you’re exceptionally intelligent. You just have the emotional intelligence of a slab of granite. I blame your grandfather.”

“Here.” I held out my leg. “Kick me a bit more while I’m down, why don’t you?”

“Might knock some sense into you,” Luke said, finally sitting down next to Mum. “So, you’re in love with Rose, and she resents you.”

“Oh, no,” Mum said, patting his shoulder. “A little bit of her might, but it’s quite clear that both of them are harbouring some complicated feelings for each other. This one looks at her like she’s personally switching on each star at night, and she looks at him like she either wants to kill him or kiss him. Granted, she did ask me how tall he is so she could dig a grave for him, but perhaps she’s into that kind of thing.”

“Mother, please,” I mumbled.

“Oh, it’s hardly a secret. Everyone knows there’s something going on between the two of you. Why, they’ve even started a betting ring. Which one of you will give in first or something like that. Susan told me I can’t bet because I’m an insider, so I gave her a cheeky little tip in exchange for ten percent of her winnings.”

Mum examined her nails like she hadn’t just told me she’d actively participated in a betting ring over her son’s relationship.

I looked at Luke. “I heard that right, didn’t I?”

Luke glanced at me. “What, er…” He leant in towards Mum. “What are the options?”

Dear God.

“Oliver will cancel the sale for her, or he’ll go through with it, and she’ll never speak to him again.”

“Oh,” Luke said. “Well, we already know how that ends.”

“The secondary bet is what happens if he does cancel the sale. Will she accept his token of love, or will she hit him with her spade and tell him to piss off?”

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