Page 122 of Rough Around the Hedges

He laughed, a deep belly laugh that I felt in the butterflies in my stomach. “Maybe I can borrow Waffles when I’m back.”

“Nah, you can’t afford his hourly rate.”

“You’re the expert. What—” He sighed. “I have to go. Luke just broke in.”

I wrinkled my face up. “You aren’t bringing it back with you, are you?”

“Bringing what back?”

“The trespasser who investigated me.”

Oliver paused. “I really have to go. Talk to you later.”

“Hey!”

The line went dead, and I frowned at my phone as if it was the one that’d ended the call and not Oliver himself.

Great.

That meant he was coming back with that swine.

Well, that might not be the worst thing in the world. Oliver was far too free when Luke wasn’t there to keep him in line, and that was how we’d ended up in so many compromising positions.

On the other hand, there would be less compromising positions, which wasn’t actually a good thing for me.

Hmm.

“Agh, Rose! George knocked over his box with his seeds in, the packets went everywhere, and the crows are attacking him for them!”

I jumped to my feet, completely forgetting about my coffee, and sent it splattering all over the ground. “Oh, shit,” I cried, bending down quickly to pick up the now-empty cup and its lid. I tossed them in the bin nearest to me and chased after Lisa. “I told him to put that box with the spares away! Why doesn’t he ever listen to me?”

She half-sighed, half-laughed as we dodged through people. “Well, if marigolds start blooming through the cracks in the pavement, we know to thank him for it.”

Thank him.

Yeah.

“George!” I shouted, watching him wave a roll of kitchen towel in the direction of a particularly large crow. “To the gallows! You’re getting the water balloon punishment!”

“Noooo,” he groaned, stabbing the roll like a sword. “Make it stop, Rose! It wants me sunflower seeds!”

I rubbed my hand down my face.

There was never a dull day.

26

OLIVER

The Green-Eyed Duke

ISADORA: (video attachment)

ISADORA: If you tell her I sent you this, I will print out 100 pictures of various animal testicles and superglue them around your McMansion.

That was a threat I’d never heard before.

Where did she and Rose get them from? Did they have a notebook full of them or something?

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