Page 68 of Pretty Cruel Love

“Do you think it was fair for the judge to give you a sentence that allowed for multiple chances at early parole,” she asks, “just because you were found to be insane at the time of the crime?”

I blink.

I’ve heard this line before. Same cadence. Same phrasing.

But it wasn’t a question then—it was a monologue.

From her podcast.

“I believe the judge did his job,” I say. “I’m grateful he didn’t give me life without parole.”

“You don’t think you deserved that?”

“No.”

“Okay.” She sighs.

I brace for her to circle back to the lawyer question so I can fake confusion and get out of here, but instead, she pivots again.

“Last question,” she says. “During your isolation sessions, I’m sure Dr. Weiss explained his theory about the three types of criminal birds, correct?”

“He has, yes.”

“Which one do you think you are? Hummingbird, raven, or eagle?”

“You’d have to tell me, Miss Schreiner.”

“That’s not how this works. Which one are you?”

I say nothing.

Because I honestly don’t know.

“Let’s break for lunch and have Miss Pretty moved to the observation room, please,” she sighs, and the room floods with bright light.

I blink against it.

When my eyes adjust, I see Ethan seated nearby, watching me with quiet pride.

He mouths two simple words:Good job.

31

THEN

SADIE

Back then…

“With the insanity defense, we don’t have much of a hill to climb because, well—what you did was literally insane. So we just need to focus on getting a few spiritually woo-woo people on your jury.”

I clench my fists under the table.

The way my lawyer talks down to me should be studied underHow to Perfectly Incite Rage. He’s not trying to help me; he’s painting by the numbers, treating this as an ‘L’ before we’ve even played the game.

“That’s the best thing you have going for you, honestly.” He smiles. “This was a completely random attack, and you have no ties to any of the victims, so?—”

“Jonathan Baylor raped me.”