Page 18 of Of Lies and Shadows

Even as Alessio laughs and Lucia wraps her arms around my waist like I belong here.

Even as Dante glances at me like he sees something thatmatters.

I can’t afford to forget who I am.

But for the first time, I’m afraid of who I’ll become if I do what I promised.

Chapter Five

Francesca

I’m conflicted.

I never thought I would be, and yet here I am, sitting on information I could give my father to please Don Salvatore… andchoosingnot to.

A week ago, I overheard Dante talking about moving merchandise. I knew, thanks to one of my father’s oh-so-charming “catch-ups,” that he meant weapons. He’d shifted them from a shipyard to some trailer park on the west side of the city.

That should’ve been gold. A gift. But when the end of the week came, and it was time to send an update to the number in my phone labeled Grandma… all I typed was:

Hi Granny! Hope you’re okay. I’m loving my new job. Nothing special to say though—just lovely kids. Love you! A.

I lied about having nothing to say. But I didn’t lie about the kids.

They are lovely and spirited in their own completely opposite ways.

It’s strange… Being around them lets me see that Dante, while far from tender, is still a loving father in his own, distant way.

His children are too carefree, too unguarded, to be growing up under cruelty.

I know what that looks like. Ilivedit.

They’re the age I was when I lost the last glimmer of childhood, when my own father’s hand turned too heavy to ignore.

I don’t see Dante much. In the past week, I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen him. Fewer still, the times we’ve actually spoken.

And yet, he doesn’t strike me as the monster my father made him out to be. But then again… mafia men have an uncanny ability to hide their cruelty.

It’s also hard pretending not to understand Italian.

But it’s one of my assets. So I play the part.Play Alice.

Most of the time, it’s easy. Because the longer I stay, the more I care. And the more I care? The harder it becomes to separate the mission from the people.

I don’t think I’d have any qualms about taking down Dante Forzi.

He’s a mafia boss. Men like him don’t deserve sympathy. They’re cold, condescending, controlling.

But I do have qualms about taking away the only parent two beautiful, innocent children have left.

A little boy with a whole fantasy world inside his head, full of pirate ships, dragons, buried treasure, and fighting for what’s right.

And a little girl who caught me on my first night here, slipping out of the bathroom without my brown contacts.

She looked up at me with wide eyes and whispered, “You’re a mermaid princess.”

She’s been calling me that ever since.

A little girl who believes her mother now lives among the fairy folk. A little girl whose big, trusting eyes make my heart beat a little faster every time she looks at me.

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