Page 22 of The Complication with the Best Man

I stare at my feet walking along the carpet, I’m so uncomfortable, I just look ahead and pray that we wrap up this wedding planning sooner than later.

nine

HARPER

God, I’m so tired. The nausea has subsided this week, but I’ve been dragging ass everywhere I go. In the middle of the day, I’ll wake up with my head on my keyboard, and my bedtime has been hours earlier than it once was. I can’t even get through one reality TV show that Maven and I usually watch together. If she has noticed that I’m dosing off during every episode, she hasn’t said anything. Not to mention, we haven’t tried a new popcorn flavor either.

It’s my twin uncles Rome and Denver’s birthday tonight, so a bunch of us Baileys are getting together at Uncle Denver and Aunt Cleo’s place. Since our family is so big, and growing by the day, it’s sure to be a packed house. Even when only a handful of us can make it, it would make even a kindergarten teacher run.

The laughter and music are already so loud when I arrive, I don’t bother ringing the doorbell. Sure enough, it’s standing room only. I set the Greek salad I brought on the buffet table. Our gatherings are always potluck and buffet-style.

I spot Brinley and Calista on the couch with their new Bailey additions. Calista’s little boy, Jaxon, is a few months old now, but Brinley’s daughter, Ivy, is a newborn. At least I think she’s still considered a newborn. When are they not newborns? One? Then they’re toddlers? But what if they aren’t walking? Aren’t all toddlers able to walk? I exhaust myself and realize I need to learn this stuff before he or she arrives.

God, just the thought of childbirth spurs too much anxiety. A big part of me wants to avoid Calista and Brinley because they represent everything I’m facing in the next year, and they probably handled it so much better than I ever will. Just as I think I’ve dodged them, they catch my eye, leaving me no choice but to at least say hello.

“Hey, guys, how are the little ones?”

Jaxon’s wide eyes track me as he sits on Calista’s lap, so I make a funny face and earn a smile out of him. Ivy is swaddled and asleep in Brinley’s arms.

“I’m so glad you came over. Can you hold Ivy for me for a minute? I have to pee so bad.” Without waiting, Brinley hands Ivy off to me, leaving me no choice but to accept her.

Thanks to Adley, I know how to hold an infant, but when I look down at Ivy’s perfect little face, I wonder what my baby will look like.

Ivy might not be my baby, but this is how it will be when I have my own. As if my brain fast forwards, suddenly I’m holding him or her and the enormous weight of what that means. All the changes my life will incur. How hard it’ll be doing it on my own.

“Are you okay?” Calista asks me, forehead wrinkled. “You look a little pale.”

I muster a smile I hope masks the anxiety ratchetting inside me the longer I have Ivy in my arms. “Yeah, just tired. Didn’t sleep well last night. So how is Jaden taking to being a big brother?”

The two of us chat about Jaden not being the best big brother since he’s suffering from not being the baby anymore until Brinley returns. I stand and pass Ivy to her under the guise of being starving.

After making a small plate for myself, I sit at one of the long folding tables next to my cousins Callum and Jason, who seem to be deep in conversation. They’ll never ask me any questions like my girl cousins, so it’s like my own little safe zone.

They stop discussing whatever was so enthralling, and both turn to look at me.

“Swapping stories, boys?” I pull my chair closer to the table.

“Just coming up with a plan.” Callum leans back in his chair until it’s on the back two legs. He and Palmer couldn’t look more opposite for being siblings. Callum looks so much like my uncle Jamison, it’s a tad creepy.

“And what exactly are you two conquering?” I ask, picking at a roll on my plate.

“The Anderson twins,” Jason says, and he and Callum fist-bump over the table.

I roll my eyes and shake my head. “Why do you need a plan? You don’t think your personalities and good looks can seal the deal?”

Jason pushes my shoulder, and I laugh. “We do just fine,” he says.

I start to give my younger cousins—by only a year—shit about how to be good guys, but then their phones must go off because they pull them out of their pockets and stand. Apparently, they’ve secured their double date with the Anderson twins.

The rotation keeps coming when my cousin Rohan sits across from me. I usually love seeing him, but I keep worrying someone is going to figure out my secret, and soon I’ll have a big spotlight on me in the middle of our family function.

“What’s good, Harp?” He digs his fork into his meal.

“Nothing much. Can you believe your dad and Uncle Rome are getting so old?”

If you look up young at heart, you’ll see a picture of Uncle Rome and Uncle Denver. I can just see them racing their wheelchairs at Northern Lights at eighty.

Rohan chuckles. “Uncle Rome, yeah. My dad…” He shakes his head. “Not sure he’ll ever really grow up.”

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