Disappointment soaks in like lotion on my skin, coating me from head to toe.

She nods and walks out, clothes in hand, without giving me a backward glance.

The problem is that every time I blink, the expression on her face when she came is all I can see, and it will haunt me forever if I never see it again.

twenty-six

HARPER

Things have been strained between Finn and me since the dressing room incident. Telling him we couldn’t do anything like that again went against everything I felt inside. But it was the right thing to do.

I’m the screwup. No, I don’t mess up enough to land myself in jail or anything. But if there’s a mistake to be made, I usually make it. Like the time I accidentally put unleaded in my cousin’s truck because I wasn’t paying attention. Or the time my dad asked for help with dinner, and I got distracted, causing the entire grill to go up in flames. Once I referred to my brother’s girlfriend by his ex’s name, which caused a whole thing. Well, Easton should thank me for that one. She wasn’t near good enough for him.

The point is, I can’t trust myself yet. If I want something, it probably means it’s the wrong decision to make. Sure, we all laugh about it, and no one is mean to me or tries to make me feel bad. They just think that’s how I am, that bad things happen to Harper, but what if I’m the cause of them?

So, I won’t screw this up. This is my child we’re talking about, and I can’t afford to do anything that could possibly lead to me messing up my relationship with his or her dad. I don’t want her or him to be living in a situation where their parents can’t be in the room together. I want a mature relationship, one where we have a great friendship.

It’s a shame though.

It really is.

Because what we did in that dressing room was one of the hottest things to ever happen in my life.

I’m sitting at the breakfast bar, moving my oatmeal around with my spoon, daydreaming about what went down, when the front door opens. A quick glance at the clock tells me it’s a little after eight in the morning, so it must be Finn.

He’s been at the firehouse since yesterday morning and is just coming off his shift. When he walks in wearing his black uniform, it does absolutely nothing to ease the desire I’ve been denying.

“Morning. I grabbed you a decaf coffee at Brewed Awakenings and scored the last green tea donut from Sweet Suga Things.”

It’s not just his looks and our chemistry that attracts me to him, but things like this. He’s thoughtful and considerate, and he’s been nothing but supportive.

“Thank you. How was your shift?”

He sets the drink and donut in front of me. “Pretty boring. Which is a good thing. Just makes for a long shift.”

“Yeah, I suppose a busy day for you is a bad day for someone else.”

He chuckles and sits on the stool next to me. “Hey, good news. I have a lead on a place in town. One of the guys at the station bought a house and is moving out of his rental at the end of the month. Said he’d talk to the owner for me.”

“Oh… yeah, that is good.” I force myself to smile.

I know this was the plan all along, but his words take me by surprise. The truth is, I don’t want Finn to move out. He’s been easy to live with, and we get along. But I suppose it’s for the best. Maybe a little distance will help me remember what this is and is not between us.

Besides, I think Maven’s been keeping her distance with Finn here. She’s barely home these days. I don’t think she’s uncomfortable having him here, but I think she assumes we have things we need to work out between us.

“With any luck, I’ll be out of your and Maven’s hair in no time.”

I give him a tight smile then take a bite of my donut to prevent myself from begging him to stay. My phone buzzes on the counter beside me, and I take the opportunity for the distraction, picking it up. I see that it’s a text from Palmer, so I unlock my screen to read it.

OMG were you and Finn getting it on at the maternity store?

My eyes widen. “Oh, shit.”

“What’s wrong?” Finn asks from beside me.

I set the donut down, lick my fingers clean, then clench my phone in both hands to pull up the Buzz Wheel app. Usually I check the app most nights, but I was tired and bored last night with Finn at work, so I went to bed early and haven’t seen what they posted.

“What? The baby?” Finn’s worried voice permeates my thoughts, but I can’t look away from the screen.