Page 24 of By Your Side

“Millie,” Dad says bluntly, no longer tolerating my sadness. “You can’t put your life on hold forever. You have punished yourself enough for something that you haven’t even done. You can’t keep hiding away forever. Just like last time, it’s going to be a bit challenging for a while, but you are strong enough to get through it. You might not remember her, but your mother had an incredible inner strength, and you do as well.”

“I don’t know, Dad. I’m not too sure…”

“Just come home, let me look after you. We can work things out from there…”

Knock, knock. I snap my eyes towards the door, fear absolutely flooding me. Knock, knock.

“Someone is here,” I tell my father with a tremor evident in my voice. “Someone is at my door.”

“It might be that nice young man of yours. He may be there to look after you. I certainly hope so…”

Oh God, but if it’s Lance then I’m even more terrified than if the press is out there waiting for me, because it’s his opinion who I really care about. It’s his eyes that I don’t want to see looking back at me like he doesn’t know who I am anymore. It’s him who will destroy me if he hates me because of this…

Shit, I really can’t cope with this. This is far too much.Chapter 11 – Lance“Who is it?” Millie barks, sounding incredibly stressed and upset as well. I feel for her. I chose to be in the public eye, I knew that was going to be one of the side effects of my chosen career, and I found the intense scrutiny in to my life challenging to bear. For Millie, who made it clear that she didn’t want it, this small bit of interference must be devastating. I should have come here earlier; I made a mistake heading in to work.

“It’s me, Lance,” I try to reassure her. “I just wanted to come here and check that you’re okay.” She doesn’t say anything for a beat too long, making my nerves stand up on edge. “I know you didn’t go in to work…”

“Because I’m sick,” she bites back. “I haven’t been well. I can’t work at the bar while I’m ill.”

It upsets me that she’s clearly trying to use this lie on me. I thought that we were closer than that by now. I hope that this story hasn’t severed her trust in me. I would never sell a tale about her. No way.

“Can I come in, Millie?” I ask her cautiously. “Please. I don’t mind if you’re sick. I just want to talk to you. I don’t know if you’ve seen the story in the newspaper and I just want to see if you are alright.”

“Newspaper?” She swings the door open rapidly and I’m immediately struck by how upset she looks. Her eyes are red and puffy, she has obviously spent all day crying, but she has a mania in her expression as well. This is on the way to sending her insane which is a real shame. “What newspaper? What are they saying?”

I have it clutched between my fingers, but I don’t know if she’s in the right head space for me to show it to her. She senses the twitching in my hands and her eyes travel down that way anyway. I try to take it away from her, but she snatches it from my fingers and runs her gaze over the image rapidly. Her lips part and a small sound emanates from her throat, but it isn’t a real word. Then Millie turns and heads inside her house without closing the door behind her. I don’t know if this is an invitation inside, but I go anyway because I’m not done talking to her yet. My heart races as I wait for something of a reaction to come from her. I need to know what she thinks.

If this article isn’t what she’s been crying about then why is she so upset?

“I saw this online,” she murmurs quietly as her eyes scan frantically over the words. “I didn’t know that it was in print as well. Wow, the press really is interested in you. It’s intense.”

“I know that it can be a bit much, but you can’t really see yourself in the image, can you? No one knows…”

Her eyes flick up to meet mine and I can instantly see that I’ve ignited some kind of intense rage within her. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong exactly, but it’s clearly really bad. I feel like she wants to tear my hair out. I would do anything that I could to make it right again, but I don’t know if that’s possible.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like a dick then, I just don’t want you to worry…”

“Don’t worry?” Her lip curls up in to an angry snarl. “Don’ worry? I told you that I don’t want to be in the public eye. There’s a reason for that, you know. It’s not just because I’m shy or whatever you might be thinking. I don’t want to have people prying in to my life. There are things that I want to keep to myself.” Her fingers drag through her hair and I notice her shaking. “Not everyone wants to be seen by the world.”

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