Page 10 of Recipes for Life

Instead of Murphy speaking, his lawyer answered, "Mr. Lake would like to discuss the possibility of reconciliation."

Anton nodded and then turned his gaze to Bethany. "That is not something my client is willing to entertain."

Silence greeted her response. I took a chance and glanced at Murphy, where rage was morphing his features, and he bit out, "Divorce isn't an option for me."

"And staying married to someone who engages inextra marital affairsisn't an option for my client. Really, Wilson?" Ah, so that was his lawyer's name, Wilson. "Please tell me you didn't forcemy client and me to come here with hopes of reconciliation. The answer has been no for weeks, and it's no now."

I could feel Murphy's gaze boring into the side of my face. I did not want to be here; why was he doing this to me? Couldn't he just do the one thing I've asked him, and that's to let me go?

"I understand that has been the consensus thus far, but my client hasn't even been able to talk to his wife for the last few weeks. She completely cut him out, won't even give him the time of day, a chance to explain..."

That's it.That's it.I've spent all this time being sad, hurt, grieving the end of our life and our marriage, and he's sitting there like a motherfucking peacock, showing off his feathers because he'spretty.Because he thinks so goddamn highly of himself that he figured if he could get me into a room, I'd bend over like the good submissive little wife I've always been and take him back.

I don't want to be here.

"No," I said, my voice shaky.

"Baby... Please, look at me."

My eyes snapped to his. "You know the last time I heard someone say the word baby? It was when I walked in on you fucking that woman, and she called youbabyto get your attention after I interrupted."

"You don't understand!" He banged his fist on the table.

"This is your one and only warning,” Anton interrupted. “There will be no physical outbursts in this room. Need I remind you that it’s my job to report to the judgeeverythingthat goes on here, to sort through if we cannot come to a resolution."

My gaze met Murphy's head on. I let him see all the pain, hatred, and disgust for the first time in weeks. I didn't hide anything.You can love someone with every fiber of your being but know you can't be with them. He'sfucking tainted. Every time I look at him, I hate him as much as I love him, and while my love fades, my hate grows.See that.

"You don't understand... It isn't what you're thinking."

"Not what I'm thinking..." I parroted back to him, making sure to keep my voice void of emotion.

"Yes, not what you're thinking." You could tell he thought he was getting somewhere.

"So, what am I thinking?"

"You're thinking that I'm in love with this woman, you're thinking that what she told you was true, that I was no longer in love with you, regretted you, regretted Lux... That’s not it. I just—"

"You just, what?" I asked, my voice cold.

He looked at me, really looked at me. Right now, at this moment, I wasn't feeling anything but immense disgust for him, and the fact that he was trying to rationalize his affair because hewasn'tin love with her made me sick.

"It was just sex."

I full on laughed. "So, you threw me, your wife, away forjust sex?"

His face paled. Where he thought he was making headway, he realized he was digging his own grave. "No, that's not it."

"So, you were in love with her then, and what...? She didn't want the kid?"

"Okay, I think we are getting off topic here..." Anton interjected.

"Just stop this, Odette. Just stop! Come home. If you come home, we can talk, and we will figure this out. You're my wife."

"Iwasyour wife, and according to you, someone you threw away for ‘just sex.’ Like I said, reconciliation is not an option for me."

"No, that's not possible. You’re my wife."

"I stopped being your wife the second you fucked someone else. So, fuck off, Murphy, just fuck off," I whisper-shouted at him. "Haven't you done enough? Haven't you gotten your pound of flesh yet? Jesus, Murphy.You were fucking someone else for months! You know what I had to do? I had to go get tested,alone. I had to tell my doctor, who I've been going to for years, that I needed an STD test because mylovinghusbandhad been fucking someone else behind my back, and God knows how many before her. I sat there for days wondering if Lux was going to be a sister. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, and you can tell. You come in here and make a mockery of me and our marriage by thinking I would justcome home. News flash, Murphy, you aren't my home anymore. You never will be. I'm so sick of this; I want to be free, I want to move on, I want to forgive you, and I want to leave you and our marriage firmly in the past. But I can't do that with you doing this. You made your bed, and you chose to lie in it with her, so nowlie in it."

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