Page 56 of Recipes for Life

I saved the upstairs for last, and audibly gasped at Lux’s room, it was basically still a nursery.

“Where did you stay while you redid the backyard?”

“My parents’.”

I closed the door to her room, saving our bedroom for last.

“We don’t have to go in there, Odette. We can go outside.”

“I want to.”

Opening the door to our old bedroom, a rush of emotions filled me—some I couldn’t identify, some I didn’t want to, but the main one waslove.I wasn’t going to spend a singlefuckingsecond feeling guilty that I was still in love with Murphy. I did what I needed to do. I needed to heal; I needed to become a person without him. I needed to know that Icould,and Idid,and I still wanted him. I still loved him with every beat of my heart.

“Murphy…” I looked behind me and saw that he had dropped to his knees.

“I haven’t been in here since…”Since you left.He didn’t have to say it, but I caught the meaning all the same.

“It’s pretty clean.”

“Mom comes in to clean it once a month. I didn’t trust a cleaning crew to clean the house; I tried once and almost lost it when I saw that they were moving stuff around, so Mom offered, saying she didn’t want to have to bail me out of jail for murder,” he said, almost shamefully, but I loved that he felt so deeply about it all.

Every part of his actions and his decisions were so clearly based around me and our baby girl, even knowing that he did all this without the confirmation that I would come back to him.

He loved me silently and from afar, and he gave meeverythingI needed without recognition.

“I need you to kiss me, Murphy.”

“Odette…”

“Now, please.”

There was a hunger in his gaze that made me feel like I was being stripped bare, and my whole body shuddered under his gaze. Instead of doing what I asked, he kneeled in a submissive pose.

“Odette…” I heard the need in his voice, and I didn’t have to check to know that I was wet, especially at the vision of him on his knees in front of me.

“Murphy…what are you doing?”

“I want nothing more than to give you everything you need, but I need you to know this is all on your terms. Every part of me wants you, mind, body,soul,but I need you to show me that it’s okay, how to touch you.”

I almost let out a sob at his vulnerability. He was giving me something I knew he’d never given anyone else before—his complete and utter surrender.

I sank to the floor, and I used my finger to trace over his face, taking the time to memorize every new wrinkle, every change. Everything new and old. I felt his body shiver beneath my barely-there touch. I knew he needed me to take control, and in doing so, let me know everything was at my own pace.

“I’m going to kiss you, Murphy, and I give you permission to kiss me back.”

“Odette… I need you to know, there’s been no one. There will never be anyone else for me. Ever. Again.”

I tried to hide my shock.No one? In three years? Not even when he could do whatever he wanted?

“No one?” I asked, my voice a little unsteady.

“No one,” he said, and in his voice and eyes, I saw that it was the truth.

“Murphy, kiss me. Now.”

He let out a growl and grabbed my face, and instead of consuming me with a kiss like I thought he was going to do, he started at the base of my neck with barely-there kisses, whispering between each one everything he had been holding in.

“Every part of me has missed you.”

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