Page 52 of Recipes for Life

“Okay, okay. Let me go get it.”

He walked off back toward the room Lux used when she’s here and emerged a few seconds later carrying a large book that looked like a scrapbook and an old Bible.

Color me intrigued.

“What’s this?”

Murphy cleared his throat, turning his attention to Lux. “Why don’t I explain this to Mom while you brush your teeth and get ready for bed? Then we can add to ittogether.”

She let that option roll around for a minute before she nodded, maybe picking up on the semi-charged energy around us. She took off toward her bathroom, and I watched her disappear through the door before I turned to Murphy.

“What’s this?”

“Um, well...it’s, it’s something I started a while ago, before Lux even knew what it was.”

“Okay…”

“I realized how much it sucked when I would miss out on the moments in her life, oryours,when I wasn’t around. And I realized that maybe you felt the same way…so I started documenting them, and once Lux realized what I was doing, it became a routine. Update Mom’s book when we update our own journals.”

Tears I couldn’t help were building, and I needed to see it. “Can I see it?”

He handed me the leather-bound journal, and across it had in a very pretty script, “Recipes for Life.”

Turning the page, I found pictures from Lux’s first Christmas with Murphy and not me. There were pictures of them sledding, one of them going down, one of Lux in tears because she was young andhated it.Another page was full of the day Murphy taught Lux to jump rope, and by taught, I mean, according to his pictures,fell on his ass...a lot.

The book was littered with memories I wasn’t a part of, and while my heart broke that I missed out on them, I couldn’t help but cry in happiness that Murphy cared enough to make this for me. Next to each picture was a handwritten note.

“I taught Lux to jump rope today. To be honest, I failed. Leon did it. I think I might have broken my spine.”Some of the notes weren’t next to pictures at all, just notes of how he was handling parenting, how he was trying his best to do what he thought I would do.

I knew I didn’t have the time to look through everything before Lux came back and I didn’t want her to see me crying or how much this affected me.

“Thank you,” I mouthed at him through my tears, and noticed he had some unshed tears as well.

“I’m ready!” Lux shouted as she made her way back. “I’m ready to update our life book!”

I couldn’t help but smile.

Me, too, kid... Me, too.

Chapter 34

Odette

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that Murphy was avoiding me. Staying in his mother’s house during my recovery brought me an insight I’d never had before into his life over the last three years. He’d quit his job, he didn’t have any friends—at least none he talked to or spent any time with. He spent his entire existence doing things for our daughter or his family, or in his workshop. In the time I’d been here, he’d successfully cooked me all of my meals, shooing his mother out of her kitchen. He had pestered me about my medication times, built some gardening contraption for his backyard that I had overheard him and his dad talking about—something to do with canning the vegetables and growing fresh produce because he read an article on the best way to feed your family.Read an article.

My mind was spinning with all these changes, and I was aching to get to know more about Murphy, more about the man he had grown into. My entire being was dying to ask him all these questions about his life, abouthim,but like I said, I was pretty sure he was avoiding me. Since he handed me the book he was making and gave me a glimpse into his remorse, he’d shot off the sofa to get Lux ready for bed, and since then while he was around, he made very sure we weren’t alone together.

It was driving me mad. For someone I spent so long avoiding, I kept feeling like his presence was slipping through my fingers.

Thankfully, today I had a follow-up doctor's appointment, and I knew there was no way Murphy wouldn’t be taking me. He made it very clear yesterday at lunch when Wynn popped over that he would be going.

“I can drive you tomorrow, no problem. If you get the all-clear, does that mean you’ll be going back to the cottage?” Wynn asked while shoveling in some of the left-over lunch Murphy had made me, even though I explained to him and his mom that I was still stuffed from the full-fledged breakfast spread they had prepared.

“Oh, uh...I guess I haven’t really thought much about it.” I couldn’t help but frown at the idea of going home when I still haven’t been able to have a decent conversation with Murphy, and his standoffish behavior since his last therapy session was grating on my nerves.

“I’m coming as well.” Murphy's voice sounded from behind me, and I had to tell myself not to jump at being startled. I had to contain my smile because I knew that, although he was keeping his distance, he clearly wasn’t letting me that far out of his sight.

“I got it, big guy; you don’t need to if you have work you need to catch up on.” Wynn smiled cheekily at him.

---