Page 31 of Recipes for Life

I waited for her to continue because I knew she wasn’t expecting me to respond.

“I didn’t even tell him; he found out from a friend of a friend. When I saw the devastation on his face, itfinallyhit me what Idid, what I caused someone else to feel. And for what?Nothing. I’ll always regret what I did, and because of the fall out of my actions, I’d never do it again.”

Wynn had tears streaming down her face. I could tell her past choices really ate at her. Come to think of it, Wynn had never been in a serious relationship—noscratch that,a relationship at all since Kolby.

“Wynn… Is that why you don’t date?” I whispered.

She scoffed at me, “Of course, I don’t deserve to be happy after the pain I caused someone else.”

“That’s… No, babe, no.” I reached for her, but she squirmed away from me, and she turned back to face me after she had regained her composure.

“That’s enough about me. The point I’m trying to make is that I made a mistake, and I learned from it. What do you think about me now that you know?”

I wasn’t expecting her to ask me that; I was still digesting everything I’d just learned but…I could see, even years later, how much her actions had hurt her. I could see the pain and regret etched on her face, and it felt like her pain was seeping from her and bleeding into the kitchen around us.

“Wynn…I don’t think of you any differently. My heart is breaking for you that you kept this buried, that you think youdon’tdeserve love. You made a mistake. You’re only human.”

“And so is Murphy.”

She rested her forehead against mine. “People make mistakes, but peoplecanchange. There’s beauty in the breakdown and pain in forgiveness.”

She lingered, clearly seeking some comfort before she pulled away. “That’s heavy enough for tonight, sis. I’m going to head to bed.”

Her words kept playing in my mind,

There’s beauty in the breakdown and pain in forgiveness.

Grabbing my phone before I could change my mind, I scrolled through my text thread and pulled up Murphy’s contact.

Me:About that dinner…

Chapter 22

Murphy

I made it home after my panic attack in one piece, albeit a little shaky. Feeling better knowing I would be meeting with Dr. Rold tomorrow, I put the Pad Thai in the fridge instead of chucking it straight into the trash once I got home. Needing to work off my anxiety, and hoping I could get lost for a while, I went into my workshop.

My phone buzzing pulled me away from the customized bar piece I’d been working on for the last two months. It was a beast of a project, but I was making great time on it. The only thing I focused on was Lux, work, and being available should Odette ever need anything.

I hadn’t been intimate with anyone since the night Odette caught me—bile still rose in my throat every time I thought about it. After I had firmly pulled my head out of my own ass, quit my job, and started going to therapy, everything I’d done and who I became hit me like a tsunami. Wave after wave of mistakes, regret, and pain destroyed me until I was left an empty shell of who I used to be.But I deserved it. I rebuilt myself into the man I wanted to be from the wreckage.

I thought about who I wanted my daughter to look up to, the type of man I wanted Lux to end up with. The type of man I should have been for Odette.

There’s something poetic about being your own downfall, but it almost makes it worse when you have no one else to blame but yourself.

My phone buzzing shook me from my self-internalization.

Odette:About that dinner…

A glance at the time on my phone alerted me to the fact that it was only nine-thirty.Wasn’t she on a date?

Not that it was any of my business; I had made my peace knowing I would be alone for the rest of my life. I had no desire to be with anyone ever again if it wasn’t Odette. Of course, the self-deprecating thoughts always filled my brain.

Imagine if you realized this before.

Imagine if you hadn’t been such a colossal asshole.

Imagine if you never lost the love of your life.

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