Page 11 of Recipes for Life

I couldn't help the tears that were freely flowing, and I vowed this would be the last time I cried over him.

"There was a time in my life where I thought you would never hurt me; you became my entire universe, and I would have done anything for you. Now the thought of being near you makes me nauseous, the thought of you touching me brings me to the verge of getting physically ill. I look at you and all I see is you slamming in and out of her.I hate youmore than I love you. You can't save this."

He sat there, stock-still, the muscle in his jaw ticking. I knew that meant he was mad, and that this was not what he expected today.

"I think we are done here," Bethany said as she got up, and that was my cue to get ready to leave.

I spared one last glance at Murphy, and I saw the lone tear he tried to swipe away when he saw me turn.

"Please, just let me go."

And then I made my exit.

Chapter 8

Odette

Wynn had the forethought to ask if Susan would watch Lux for the evening—she had known I wouldn't be okay, no matter what happened today. She had voiced her concerns that I would take one look at him and take him back.

She told me to take a good look at our relationship, and I did. If I'm remembering correctly, things started to change around a year and a half ago. Murphy became obsessed with making junior partner; he was so caught up in this glamorous lifestyle his superiors were living, he flung money around without a thought, and it sometimes made me cringe. Why did he needeightthousand-dollar suits? Why couldn't we just go eat at a burger joint instead of dragging our three-year-old to a steakhouse?

It had been subtle at first, but it became the norm. I didn't know how I'd been so blind. I think I was justtired.Even with the part-time help Murphy hired for me, I was still so busy between school and being a full-time mom. There wasn't a single day that went by that I wasn't present for either dinner or bedtime—it had been my rule to myself to never miss both—and if I was given the option to catch a few hours studying in the library or go home, I had always chosen to go home. I wanted spend as much time with my daughterandhusband as humanly possible, even if that meant staying up until two or three a.m. studying.

Meanwhile, Murphy complained if he came home late and I was up studying, begging me to turn the light off so he could get some sleep.

Wynn forcing me to look at my relationship had opened my eyes; I think we had been broken for a while. I'm still a little shaken that I had missed all the signs. I worried that I was a smidge neglectful when it came to my marriage because I was so focused on being a mom. But I pushed that thought way down, not wanting to reflect on it too much...at least not now.

With Lux being gone for the evening, Wynn gleefully showed me the bottles of wine she purchased, along with snacks, footie pajamas, and old horror films. I took my first breath that didn't feel like it was slicing me open since I left the mediator's office.This is exactly what I need.

"How'd you know this is what I would want?"

"Easy." She smirked at me. "It's the exact opposite of what I would want. I would want to be at a male strip club, literally paying to fuck some other guy."

"Oh my god, Wynn!" I slapped my hand to my mouth. "ThankFLux isn't here right now, or I would smack you."

She tossed her long hair over her shoulder and looked at me without a hint of apology. "It's the truth. Get changed into those pjs and meet me down here in five; we have an epic girl's night to commence! Chop chop!" She playfully smacked my ass with a wooden spoon she grabbed from atop the stove.

"Okay, okay! You win, give me five minutes." I couldn't help but smile, and it felt like the first genuine smile to grace my lips inweeks. It felt good; I feltunburdened.Leave it to Wynn to pull me out of this.

Making my way downstairs, I took a closer look at what Wynn had planned. She really went all out. She was currently setting up what looked like a mini fountain of chocolateandcheese fondue, so many snacks for dipping, a few pints of ice cream, and way,waytoo many bottles of wine.

"How drunk are we getting tonight?" My eyes widened looking at what I was counting to be at least seven bottles.

"We have a lot of night ahead of us, and I don't want to run outorhave to pay a ridiculous delivery fee."

"You can afford it," I reminded her.

"Not the point. Pick your movie." She pointed at the table which had many options fanned out, and I squealed in delight when I saw my favorite seriesever.

I looked back to see Wynn rolling her eyes. "Let me guess,I Know What You Did Last Summer?"

"Yes! I can't believe you bought these; you hate them."

"Yeah, but you don't." The way she said it, without even a second thought, made my heart swell, which was something I desperately needed.

"Have I ever told you that you're the best sister a girl could have?"

"Yeah, but not recently. Now go sit your ass in the living room; I'll bring you a plate and a bottle of wine."

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