Page 23 of Addicted

Obviously, I was or none of this would have happened, but that’s beside the point right now. I glare at him, trying to communicate my rage with my eyes because my voice box has shut down, and I slide in to the front of my car to drive away. I didn’t want me and Tim to end like this, especially after the kiss, but I need to get the hell away from the men from the garage who are still making comments about me.

I bring the engine to life and drive off, not even looking at Tim as I speed away, the anger still bursting and exploding through my veins as I go. I don’t even know where I’m going, I can barely even see the road I just need to go somewhere. It’s only when I’m about to pull out of the industrial estate completely and on to the main road that I spot Tim’s car close behind me. He’s following me, which means we are about to have a real issue here. I need to pull over again to make sure that he doesn’t continue on with this craziness. I mean, he doesn’t have anywhere to go which means he could continue to stalk me forever if he wanted.

“What now?” I yell as I stomp over to his car. “Why are you following me?”

I fold my arms across my chest and wait impatiently for him to join me on the side walk. “Kayla, I can’t let you leave like that, are you serious? Me and you have had such a good time together, I don’t want it to end like this. I’m sorry that I misjudged the situation, I was just going with the flow. It felt right at the time.”

“That’s your problem, isn’t it?” I throw my hands in the air in annoyance. “Everything is just going with the flow. You never consider the consequences of your actions because you run off before they happen.”

“I don’t run off.” He looks surprisingly taken aback by this. “I travel, there is a big difference. It isn’t like I leave a hurricane of destruction behind me wherever I go. There was something between us and you know it. You felt it as well. You’re trying to act like this kiss wasn’t a two sided thing, but it was.” He takes a small step closer to me. “There is something between us and you know it, don’t you?”

I do, I can feel it, but I can’t vocalize that as easily as him because I’m not experienced. “But there isn’t any point in that, is there? Even if there was something between us. It wouldn’t make any difference, would it? Because you are you, floating through life, and I need to make something of myself.”

“So, you assume that you would have a better connection with another lawyer? Someone else who puts pressure on you all the time, who makes you feel the need for a mask, who you can’t be yourself with.”

“I’m not myself with you,” I yell back. “Not really. You don’t know anything about me. You don’t know what destruction you’re leaving behind with me, so don’t act like you do.” Uh oh, I’m ranting, on a roll now and I don’t know if I can stop myself. I don’t want to keep taking my life anger out on Tim but he’s making it far too easy for me. “You don’t know that was my first kiss ever, do you? So, yeah, I suppose you can’t understand the effect that you have had on me. Why don’t you just fly off in to the sun set and leave me alone?”

“Your first kiss?” As his hand presses to his chest, to his heart, a wash of ice cold stupidity covers me. Why the hell would I let that piece of information out however upset I was? Now those words are out there in the world and there’s no taking them back. “I didn’t know. I didn’t realize. You are such a beautiful woman that I can’t imagine guys not noticing you. I wouldn’t think that you are… well, inexperienced in every single way.”

A virgin. That’s what he means. A fucking pathetic virgin whose life is a mess. I can see the way that changes his opinion of me, and it makes me want to fall in to a hole, to be swallowed up and never see him again.

“Well… that’s why you shouldn’t assume.” I need to get away from him now before this gets any worse. I wish we hadn’t exchanged cell phone numbers now; I wish that we could just have a clean break. “I’m off now, but thank you for, you know… the good stuff that happened, and good luck with your travels.”

“Wait.” He takes my arm in his hand and holds me in place. “You can’t go now. Not like this.”

---