Page 25 of The Leaving Road

“Sunday?” I was barely able to ask.

“Better not.” He turned and shut the door.

I didn’t think it was possible for me to sink any lower, but I was wrong. I couldn’t stop the flow of tears now that they had started. I sank to the floor with my head hung between my knees and justcried.Cried for the hurt I had caused everyone, and cried for the loss of my friendship with Magnolia. I had absolutely no one to blame but myself.

Chapter 16

Magnolia

After my disastrous date with Lance, the weekend passed by in relative calmness. On Saturday, Lexie and I went through the projects we felt would spruce up the house, watched YouTube videos and decided on the things we would do ourselves, then started to look online for a contractor to tackle the rest.

I had heard from Dr. Lewis, who had talked to Ben. Ben was thrilled about me coming on board part time. I’d be going in on Tuesday for a refresher and run down on how they work the clinic now. I wasecstatic. Luckily, once my old job had heard of the circumstances of why I had to relocate, they let me out of my contract. Now, I was free and clear to start working with Dr. Lewis. I have to say, I couldn’t wait to get back to my roots.

With not many plans set for the day, Lexie had run to the store to grab some things for the week. I had originally planned on going with her, but she said since she is moving to town, she has to start getting used to driving places on her own and mingling with the “townsfolk”.

I ventured into the kitchen, looking to see what I could scrounge up for lunch. Finding everything in the fridge for some BLTs, I got to preheating the oven so I could cook the bacon. In the middle of cutting the veggies, I couldn’t help but feel happy and at peace in this kitchen.

It reminded me of Sunday dinners, my dad’s awful attempt at cooking when he was home, and the memory of my mom and my laughter filling the space around me. My heart throbbed, but this time I was content being surrounded by our memories. A knock at the front door roused me back to the present.

I bet Lexie forgot her key.

“It’s open!” I yelled and continued placing the bacon on cookie sheets, my back turned when I heard hesitant shuffling behind me.

“I hope I’m not bothering you…” Lori’s voice caused me to whip around. She must have taken in my startled expression because she held her hands up in defense. “I should have knocked again instead of just coming in…it’s obvious you thought I was someone else.”

I took in her features; she looked tired, sad, and a little bit defeated. My heart ached for her, and if I was being honest, it ached for me, too. “Lori, please, sit.” I gestured to the barstools at the kitchen island. “Are you hungry? I’m making BLTs. It shouldn’t be more than fifteen or twenty more minutes.”

Lori’s round eyes showed she hadn’t expected me to invite her in at all, and before she could answer, the tears started.

“Oh, sweet girl…I’ve…I’ve missed you.” Her head hung low, and my already fractured heart started bleeding at the sound of her quiet tears. For the first time since being back in Rockland, I initiated a hug.

I rounded the island and pulled Lori into me, both of us finding comfort and solace in each other for the first time in eight years.I missed this. Once we seemed to compose ourselves, Lori pulled away from me, but kept me within arm’s reach as to fully take me in.

“You’re beautiful, Magnolia. I want to know everything about who you are now and what you’ve accomplished, but I think we must talk about the elephant in the room first.”

I sniffled; I knew she was right.

“I know it’s early afternoon…but would you like a glass of wine? I think we might need it,” I offered.

“I’ll never say no to a glass of wine, no matter what time it is.” She winked at me.

I walked to the refrigerator, knowing I had stored a bottle of pinot grigio in there, hoping like hell it was still one of Lori’s favorites.

“So,Cassie.”She half snarled, which took me a little bit by surprise because Lori hardly had an unkind word to say about anything, let alone anyone.

“You couldn’t even wait until I had the wine poured before we got into the ghosts of my past, could you?” I half joked.

“I’ve waited eight years, Magnolia…I don’t feel like waiting another second if I don’t have to.”

I nodded, unsure of what to say. I’m unsure of what she knows, and regardless of how I feel about Sloan, I wasn’t trying to create a wedge between him and his mom. That wasn’t my place.

“I feel as though I should start from the beginning, at least maybe fill you in on some of the blanks the best I can. I can’t help you when it comes to whatever myidiotson was thinking, but hopefully you’ll give me the chance to apologize. For my part in everything, anyway.” The tears started forming again, and I knew if she cried again, I would lose my composure. Thankfully, she just kept going, and I had a feeling if she stopped, she wouldn’t be able to start again.

“When your mom got sick, my attention was elsewhere—on her since your dad was still gone a lot, and on you because you were the one who was driving her to treatments, buying the groceries, cooking the meals, making sure the bills were paid. I had all my attention focused on getting you both through the day-to-day. I saw the light in your eyes dim every time you came back from your mom’s doctors’ appointments, only to be met with bad news. I would hear you cry in the shower when you thought no one was listening, and it broke my heart. It was around that time that I noticed Sloan was home less and less, and I realized he wasn’t here because I was here. It shocked me a little, and I sat him down and had a conversation with him about how, just because he might not know how to navigate this, your friendship was still important, and he needed to be there for you in your time of need. He confided in me that he was dating someone, and he didn’t know how to juggle your friendship and his new relationship. At that time, I was shocked to hear he was dating. A little disappointed it wasn’t you, but who was I to force a relationship between the two of you?”

I took a sip of my wine, doing my best not to dissociate so I could absorb everything she was saying.

“You continued to take on more of the stress with your mom’s sickness, and she was getting worse. I kept calling your dad, begging him to come back, but his own heartbreak was clouding his judgment as a husband and afather. I think he thought that if he stayed away long enough, he would come back to the way everything used to be.” Her voice cracked. “You pulled away from me, and with good reason. I thought you pulled away from Sloan as well. I begged him to keep an eye on you and help wherever he could. I didn’t know that meant he was sneaking into your bedroom window every night on the sly…” she said with ill-concealed disgust. “He told me that you and Cassie never got along, that it would be worse to tell you. I argued with him about it, but at that time you were barely keeping your head above water. I saw your grief suffocating you from the inside out, and I made agrave mistakein allowing him to keep the truth from you. When your mom passed, you were this shell of who you used to be; you never smiled. And then once the funeral was over, you were taking care of your dad, who had turned into a drunken version of himself.” The tears flowed freely down her cheeks.

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