She’s still looking at the lake but I’ve got her full attention.
“Because anyone who puts up with Alistair and his crap deserves a reward. Your mom’s a big “expert” on a lot of subjects, though, especially when she’s got a few drinks in her. Is that why you stop yourself at one beer?”
Gilli hardens her jaw, her chin jutting out and her teeth clenched. “I wouldn’t know. She doesn’t speak to me and the feeling is mutual. I don’t have her new phone number, I don’t want it, and there’s nothing for us to say.”
“You’re angry with her?” I adjust my knee to a more comfortable position.
“You know, if this came from Soren, I’d wonder at the first-degree.”
I hold my hands up. “The thing about people like me? We look cheerful and it puts people at ease. Which gives me some great chances to hone my observational skills.”
“So I suppose you’ve been watching me.” A smile flickers across her face, there and gone in an instant.
But there’s no condemnation in her statement.
“You’re easy to watch. Seems you like to hide behind your anger, but you’re sad. Scared.” I stop myself before I say more. “Soren thinks you’re running from something. He insists.”
Gilli doesn’t bother to offer up a correction or denial. I know about sadness. I know all about how anger comes hand in hand with it.
“I don’t like the fact that you’re talking about me.”
“Sorry, we can’t help ourselves. We’re terrible gossips, I guess.”
She turns back to face me again. “It’s pointless to try and stop you, but I’m not going to give you the answers you’re looking for. So you’re going to have to keep watching.” She blows out a breath. “Just like everyone else.”
My nostrils flare. “I accept those terms.”
“This is comfortable,” she admits after a while. “A reprieve, even though the conversation is too serious. People need someone easy to talk to, don’t they?”
I shift when the ache in my knee gets too tough to handle, hoping the movement will ease the cramp. “Nothing about me is easy,” I tell her.
Her features twist as she holds back her amusement. “I get it. I don’t have many friends. It’s always been awkward for me to make pleasantries with other people. I don’t have an outgoing personality.”
“Well, there are always things we can work on.”
“What do you have to work on, Aiden?”
“My massive cock, of course,” I answer seriously. “It puts people off. They take one glance at it and faint, either from desire or envy…or both.”
“I totally understand.” She matches my tone.
That alone draws my smile wider. It’s a small moment of bonding in a world where those things are usually only surface level.
I hold myself back. Something in me stills and starts to back-pedal. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve wished for this type of ease on dates. It simply never comes.
That’s why I usually go for sex first.
And if Soren knew I wanted to do more than skim the surface with the step-sibling he hates, he’d decapitate me.
He wants me to keep my distance, and I’ll do my best for the sake of our history.
Besides, I’m not the type to lull someone into a false sense of complacency just to take advantage, anyway. Not anymore.
The sins of the past aren’t easily forgotten. And there is no way I’ll allow myself to use Gillian to make reparations. I certainly won’t jeopardize what my cousin is trying to do by alienating her.
Her mouth twitches suddenly. “Aren’t you going to ask me if I want a peek?” she jokes.
I shake my head. “Nah, I don’t have to. If you’re asking,then it’s clearly on your mind. Maybe you’ll get lucky. I’m also known to skinny dip in the lake.”