Page 106 of Cam Girl

I lean against the door. If he wants to get around me, he’ll have to physically move me out of this spot. “What’s wrong, Tase? You’re acting strange.”

Tase works his jaw. “Maybe I’ll take a page out of your book and tell you everything is fine.”

I fight back a wince. “Then I'll know you’re lying. Talk to me. Please.”

I expect him to shut down. Most men do when you confront them.

Tase groans, swiping a hand through his short hair. “I probably should have left after dinner last night, instead of sticking around.”

I swallow compulsively and stand firm. Thankfully, the door is strong, because it’s taking the brunt of my weight.

“Look, I understand what happened and why you did it. Why you…slept with Soren.” Tase’s voice is small, almost plaintive. “But it doesn’t stop me from being jealous, because I wish it had been me in your bed and not him.”

My nerves are wracked by adrenaline and every part of me goes tight and pulsing. It’s so different from anything else because this, I realize, is fear.

A fear of alienating Tase but also of making the wrong choice.

Chapter 24

Gilli

Iswallow again, the back of my throat knotted, and Tase hurries to speak like he has to cover the silence.

“It’s none of my business, I know, and it’s no excuse for being shitty to you this morning?—”

“You haven’t been shitty, exactly,” I interrupt. “But if I hear one more Wilson Phillips song, I’m gonna scream.”

He gives a reluctant chuckle, a nod, and walks around to the side of the desk to settle there. His frame folds down and those long legs take my attention out of my own head.

“You don’t have to coddle me, Gilli, although I appreciate your attempt. I’m a grown fucking man.”

At last I’m back to being called Gilli. It’s a small win. Air hisses out between my teeth but the chest constriction is real. What does someone even say in a situation like this?

Do I tell Tase that sleeping with Soren changes nothing of my desire for him, or for Aiden? Do I tell him there has to be something wrong with me to want the three of them equally, and sex last night only makes me hungrier for more?

He reads too much into my silence. “Sorry. I’m dumping this on you and assuming you understand my interest in you. Which is ludicrous, considering you’re only twenty and I’m much older.”

“Not that much older,” I say. “And your assumption is correct.”

“Oh?” He arches a brow.

My mouth falls open. “Come on, Tase. We fooled around in the break room.”

“And you had your needs satisfied by someone else.”

I gasp and plant my hands on my hips. “Becausehemade a move. He came to me, in my room, and we…well, we both took advantage of each other.”

Why should I explain it to him? This is awkward enough as it is.

I twist around to open the door, to let him off the hook and escape the tension in the room, because shit, this is a lot, but Tase moves.

He reaches between us with one hand and stops me.

I look up at him and wonder if I’ve gotten things wrong. Except they don’t feel wrong. It feels like a chance to do something great with my life. A chance to figure out who I am, to see if, for the first time in my life, I can love someone.

It’s been hard work to love myself. I’m not quite there yet, and it’s stopped me from getting into any kind of relationship because I felt like I’m not ready.

This isn’t a relationship, I remind myself, staring at Tase’s hand on mine. I slowly turn my hand until our palms press flat together. None of them are true relationships. There is desire, and there is sex. That’s the connection.