Page 75 of Fast and Dirty

I feel my shoulders slump and my features soften.

“That’s a beautiful sentiment. I know those people love me,” I feel a glow in my heart as I utter those words. “And that’s why I have to do this. They deserve it, and things could change in the long run. And that inn can bring more to your town than I ever could.” I take a moment to reflect and take a few cleansing breaths. “I’m doing this.” I tip the can back and chug like my life depends on it. “Toby…” I look to him as I crunch the can in my hand. “My gown. Hen…” I raise the crushed can. “Gimme another one.”

I down more beers and have to pee three times as Toby Bear helps me into my gown.

“This…” he takes in the final product as he straightens out the layers of the skirt. “Is fucking epic, Kee.” He shakes his head as he releases it, letting the gauzy material float to the ground before his expression returns to one of dismay. “Are you ready?”

“Sure,” I shrug and let him lead me out to the vestibule just outside the congregation doors where my bridesmaids and father await.

When he takes in my appearance, Dad’s eyes grow as wide asdinner plates, and his jaw hardens to the point I’m sure he’s breaking a molar. He stares at me with fire igniting in his eyeballs and his complexion turns a shade of… let’s call itscarlet beetroot explosion.

“Well gee whiz, you didn’t leave me time to find a new one, Daddio,” I point out in a surly tone. “I mean, I could go get one, but we’d have to postpone this shindig again.”

“Not on your life!” He barks, yanking my arm under his and clamping it against his side like he’s trying to keep me from getting away. Dummy. “Nothing is going to ruin this deal with Wellington for me. Not even a disgraceful, tattered dress with some hoodlum’s greasy handprints all over it!”

“Hoodlum,” I chuckle, as the last bridesmaid pushes through the doors and my sperm donor yanks us forward, like he’s ready to hurdle us down the aisle.

Mouths gape and pearls are clutched as I swish down the aisle. Must be my pretty dress. I enjoy the horrified looks and whispers all the way up to the altar, and once my dad quite enthusiastically hands me over to doucheface, I’m sure to greet him with a deep but ladylike belch.

Preston, gags and turns away from me to face the minister, whose eyebrows have formed a bushy V as he stares down his glasses.

Let’s just get this over with.

“Don’t think I’m going to put out,” I mumble out of the side of my mouth.

“No problem,” he mutters back. “After your summer slumming it in Hicksville, I wouldn’t touch you with a forty-foot pole.”

“That reminds me, how’s the rash? You’re still hitting it with Autumn, right?”

“But we still have to produce heirs,” he whispers. “That’s one of the provisions of thecontract.”

“Ugghh…” I grown out in disgust, as the minister continues to ramble about honoring and obeying this douche-fucker.

“Do you, Preston Wellington, take Kira Lockwood to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“Yes,” Preston speaks up briskly.

Oh come ON!

I feel beads of sweat break out at the back of my neck when the jerk turns to me and asks the same.

“Kira, do you take Preston, to be your -,”

He’s cut off when the door at the front of the church slams open, letting in a flood of light that makes the very late guest backlit, and hard to discern.

“No!” I recognize his voice before the door shuts behind West. “She doesn’t!”

His expression is one ofdetermination as his eyes settle on mine. I feel my heart, that was shuddering in my chest a moment ago, relax and start beating out a happy rhythm.

“That ramshackle old building you love so much is being bulldozed to the ground!” Daddy Dipshit announces. “I have a crew on site ready to obliterate it to smithereens if you don’t get your fat whore ass back up on that altar!”

A dark veil settles over Wests face as he seems to zone out. In fact, I think I see flames in his eyeballs just before he works his neck to the side and slowly turns to face my sperm donor.

“That’s it,” his voice lowers to a demon level growl before he draws back and socks my dad square in the jaw, laying him out on the church floor.

I gasp, my hands coming up to my mouth at the initial shock and then blowing out a breath when I remember my dad’s an asshole and West just effectively shut him up. Yep, I’m good.

“Fuck, I’m going back to jail,” West laments out loud, looking down at my dad’s sloppy, supine position on the floor, little birdies circling his head.

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