Page 5 of Fast and Dirty

“The mechanic that towed the car actually isn’t too hard to look at,” I feel my eyebrows pull up at the mention of him.

“What?!” He practically blows a gasket and I can totally picture him pulling his legs under himself as he cradles his rum and Pepper. “Spill girl, tell me! Does he have that sexy grease monkey thing going on? Now that’s what you could use after polished, pretty-boy Preston!”

“Well, yeah,” I settle back against the wall and feel my lungs decompress. “He’s got the hair that falls in his face and some seriously sexy scruff, and holy muscles. He’s absolutely got the hard-working bad boy thing happening.”

“Oh my God, it’s settled. You have to stay there and hit that!”

“Toby come on! I’m not a slut like Preston.”

“That’s exactly why you should,” he reasons.

“No, the timing’s not right, my thoughts are all over the place right now.”

“Because you haven’t. Had. Decent. Sex!” He slowly spells it out for me, his words floating on a cloud of exasperation. “You’ve been so deprived, you poor sweet thing. Now go bang a hot, blue-collar guy and get your head right. Then you can take the peace and quiet to sort through your feelings and plan your next move and make sure it involves bringing me back some nice jams.”

“I don’t know…” I moan, suddenly feeling everything settle over me. “I’m feeling some serious anxiety.”

“Aww babe,” he immediately shifts gears to accommodate my mood and that’s why I love him. It makes me all the more salty at my parents for not letting me have him as my man of honor. Nooo, my bitter, half-drunk matron of a sister was a much better choice. “Are you okay? Let me sober up and I’ll come get you. I’ll reschedule -”

“No -” I cut off what he’s about to say because I know it’s important to him. “You’ve been crushing on Jeffery forever.”

“And I’ve been friends with you even longer,” he reasons.

“And he’s finally asked you out,” I continue on as if he hadn’t said anything. “You’re going to go to brunch with him. You’re not missing this chance. I’ll be fine for a night.”

“Honey, no, don’t be silly.”

My phone buzzes angrily against my ear, and I pull it away to look at the screen. My battery is about to crap out from the fourteen thousand calls and messages from Preston, my father, my mother, my sister, and oh look, even that cuntfart of a bridesmaid. Shit.

“Tobe, my phone is about to die. I’m going to find a place to crash for the night, and only after you’ve had a blissful brunch with crepes and mimosas will I tell you where I am, so you can come get me.”

“Sweetie, no! And don’t you dare hang up on -,”

“Ksssssshhh!” I make a bad crackling sound and end the call. I feel shitty enough. I mean, I cost my parents tens of thousands in wedding expenses and the money the merger between Dad’s company and Preston’s would have brought in. Plus, I broke whosever Rolls that was. I’m sure as hell not going to add making my best friend miss out on a chance with his prince charming. Allow me this one shred of vicarious happiness. I don’t want to go back to Chicago knowing I disappointed him too.

Before my phone actually does die, I look at some of the messages.

Dad: You’re in a world of trouble young lady! I don’t know what stunt you’re trying to pull but this was your chance to prove yourself! You’re a disgrace!

Mom: Honestly, Kira. Where in the hellll are you? Your father is livid and you’re letting a good reception go to wasted.

Yeah, mom. You sure are.

I scroll to the Preston thread and decide to just read the most recent.

Preston: I’m fucking humiliated and I hope you’re happy. Don’t you dare come crawling back because I have more respect for myself than to give some floozy daughter of one of my dad’s friends a second chance after pulling a shit show like this. Good luck finding someone else to marry you. You were the bottom of the barrel and now you’re nothing.

Whoa.

Okay, I wasn’t going to give the asshat the satisfaction of responding, but what can I say, I’m in an auto shop waiting room, and I’m bored.

Kira: I kind of thought floozies were your thing. Speaking of, I would get yourself checked out. I overheard Autumn in the spa locker room and she’s afraid she might have the herp.

Preston: There you are! I knew I’d get you to respond you little bitch.

Preston: …

Preston: …

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