SawyerRox4:I sense a story there. You don’t have to tell me unless you want to.
CastGamer55:Maybe another time.
CastGamer55:I just struggle to connect emotionally with anyone.
SawyerRox4:No, you refuse to
CastGamer55:Well, maybe.
SawyerRox4:You think you don’t deserve to.
SawyerRox4:I know bc I’m the same
I felt another tear in the corner of my eye and swiped it away. I might have gone too far here, but it felt so darn good to connect with someone.
CastGamer55:Well, what do you call this, then?
CastGamer55:If this isn’t connecting, I don’t know what is.
SawyerRox4:*mind blown*You’re right
SawyerRox4:Let’s talk about the show then
CastGamer55:You’re right—you’re just as bad at this as I am, Mindy.
SawyerRox4:I’m much worse, Danny
CastGamer55:But you make me laugh.
SawyerRox4:Then it’s all worth it
Chapter 12
By October, I’d finally reached my limit in trying to juggle three jobs, so I asked Hazel and Mariana to meet me for coffee.
When I arrived at their table, they both looked up and smiled.
“Hi, sorry I’m late,” I mumbled while sliding into the seat opposite them.
They both looked surprised for a moment and then smiled.
“No worries at all,” Hazel said. “How are you?”
“Uh, I … I’m good,” I heard myself saying, my voice raising as though I’d asked a question.
They glanced at each other and then back at me with creased brows. “Are you, Roxy?” Mari asked.
“Yes, yes, I’m fine,” I said, trying to make my voice sound more convincing than my face probably was.
“Roxy,” Mari said with a gentle smile. “I know a little about hiding your feelings. I used to do it all the time. Maybe you remember?”
“She did,” Hazel said with a vigorous shake of the head. “She even convinced herself she didn’t have feelings.”
“Oh, I haven’t done that at least,” I said with a nervous laugh before I realized what I’d just admitted.
That you’d been struggling.
That you wanted to hide the fact that you’re struggling.